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5/31/2026

Safe Babywearing 101: How to Wear Your Baby with Confidence

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There is a specific kind of "new parent panic" that sets in around 11:00 AM. You’ve finally settled the baby, but you realize you haven’t eaten, the laundry is mounting like a small mountain range in the hallway, and for your arms every day is "arm day." You want to hold your little one, that fragile, precious soul, but you also really, really need some food. And maybe a little break for your arms.
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Babywearing isn’t just a "parenting hack." It is a lifesaver. It is the bridge between the intense needs of a newborn and the practical realities of life, and this goes double or triple if you have another tiny human or two (or three...) running around. Whether you are navigating the first few weeks or seeking natural birth support and a smooth transition into parenthood, wearing your baby allows you to keep that "tender, peaceful bond" while reclaiming your hands.
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But, like anything worth doing, it comes with a learning curve. I remember the first time I tried a long wrap; I felt like I was trying to wrap an entire bedsheet around me and ended up looking more like a mummy than supermum. But once you master the safety basics, you move from "I hope I'm doing this right" to "I got this."
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Why We Wear: The Heart of Babywearing

Before we dive into the "how," let’s talk about the "why." Beyond the sheer convenience of being able to eat a sandwich with both hands, babywearing offers profound physiological and emotional benefits:
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  • Hormonal Harmony: Keeping your baby close to your chest triggers the release of oxytocin, the "love hormone", in both you and your baby. This is a beautiful gift that aids in bonding and can even support your breastfeeding journey.
  • Regulated Systems: Your baby is still learning how to exist outside the womb. Being against your skin helps regulate their heart rate, temperature, and breathing. It makes that transition from "in womb" to "in arms" seamless.
  • Reduced Crying: Research consistently shows that "carried" babies cry less. When they can hear your heartbeat, they feel safe and secure.
  • Physical Development: Upright carrying can help with digestion (goodbye, reflux!) and encourages the strengthening of neck and core muscles.
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The T.I.C.K.S. Rule: Your Safety Compass

When it comes to safety, we don't guess. We follow a clear, actionable framework. The T.I.C.K.S. rule is the gold standard for ensuring your baby’s airway is protected and their spine is supported.
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T : Tight
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The carrier or wrap should be snug enough to hold your baby firmly against you. Think of it as a "firm hug." If the fabric is too loose, your baby might slump down, which can restrict their breathing. A good test? If you lean forward and your baby pulls away from your body, it’s time to tighten things up.

I : In View at All Times
You should always be able to see your baby’s face just by looking down. Ensure no fabric, clothing, or even your own hair is covering their nose or mouth. We want to see those sweet, sleepy snuggles clearly!
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C : Close Enough to Kiss
This is my favorite rule. Your baby should be positioned high enough on your chest that you can easily kiss the top of their head by just tipping your head forward. If they are sitting too low on your belly, they aren't properly supported, and it will eventually put a strain on your back, too.
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K: Keep Chin Off Chest
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This is vital for airway safety. A newborn’s head is heavy, and their neck muscles are weak. If their chin is forced down onto their chest, it can partially close their airway. Ensure there is always a space of at least one to two finger-widths under their chin.

S : Supported Back
In an upright carry, the baby should be held comfortably close to the wearer so their back is supported in its natural "C-curve" position. Their tummy and chest should be against you, not twisting away.

Mind the Hips: The Magic "M" Position

Beyond the airway, we also care deeply about those tiny growing joints. For the first few months, a baby’s hips are quite flexible, and improper positioning can increase the risk of hip dysplasia.
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We look for the "M" Shape (often called the "froggy" position).
  • Knees higher than the bottom: The fabric should support the baby from knee-crease to knee-crease.
  • Spread squat: Their legs should spread naturally around your torso, with the weight resting on their bottom, not dangling by their crotch.
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When you look at your baby in the mirror, their legs and bottom should form a wide "M." This keeps the ball of the hip joint nestled deeply into the socket, allowing for healthy development.
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You Are Not Alone in the "Wrap Struggle"

If you’ve watched a YouTube tutorial five times and still feel like you’re wrapped in swaddling clothes, please know that you are not alone. There is no need to feel frustrated or like you "just aren't a babywearing person." Sometimes, you just need a gentle guide to show you the way. As you can see, while we are beyond the carrying stage now, babywearing was a part of my family's life with littles from the beginning!
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While there are definitely better carriers for dads now, (No Magic M in sight! 😬) you can see my husband did his share of babywearing.
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I loved using ring slings, though they definitely have a learning curve. A huge pro for ring slings is the ease of "unwearing" a sleeping baby. Compared to other carriers that require you to lift baby out or unwind yourself like a spinning doll, ring slings make it easy to transition your sleeping little one. Once baby is asleep, you can lay baby and sling down at the same time, and ease yourself out, letting baby sleep with the thin fabric underneath her. Remember when wearing baby in the sling: keep one hand on or around baby at all times and make sure to keep her face where you can see it.
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I was also a huge fan of the Boba brand carrier. It was very comfortable for use and made safe kitchen tasks or housework easy to do with baby in tow. For older babies who can back carry, it is a great option for hiking.
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This stretchy wrap was one of the last types of carriers I used. Though definitely trickier to put on, this type of carrier spreads the baby's weight over your whole back which is quite comfortable.
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If you need help choosing and learning to use baby carriers, this is where our postpartum doula services really shine. At St. Croix Birth & Parenting, we don’t just "help with the baby": we empower you to care for your baby with confidence. Our doulas can come to your home (or meet via telehealth) to help you master your specific carrier, whether it’s a ring sling, a stretchy wrap, or a structured buckle carrier. We’ll check your T.I.C.K.S., ensure that "M" shape is perfect, and help you find the "sweet spot" where both you and baby feel light as air.
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We also love seeing families at our Baby Sign Play classes and parent groups! It’s a wonderful place to see other parents wearing their babies and realize that we are all just learning together, one step at a time.
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A Final Reminder: Your Story Matters

As you navigate these early days, remember that your baby doesn’t need a "perfect" parent: they just need you. They need the sound of your voice, the warmth of your skin, and the rhythm of your heart. Whether you wear your baby for ten minutes while you fold some onesies or for two hours while you go for a peaceful walk, you are providing them with a sanctuary of love.

You are doing a beautiful job, mama (and papa!). These days are fragile and joyful all at once. If you ever feel overwhelmed by the fog of new parenthood, reach out. We are here to support you, pray for you, and celebrate every small victory with you.
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Do you have a favorite carrier that has been a lifesaver for you? Or are you still trying to find the right fit? Share your journey in the comments below (I'd love to hear your story!)

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5/18/2026

Ecological Breastfeeding 101: The 'Why' and 'How' of Natural Child Spacing (Updated)

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If you’ve spent any time at all browsing the corners of this website, you probably know that breastfeeding is a topic near and dear to my heart. But more than just "nursing," I am deeply passionate about the biological design of the mother-child relationship. Over the years, one topic consistently rises to the top of our most-read blog posts: Ecological Breastfeeding.
As an extremely experienced breastfeeding mother (I breastfed for twenty-one years with only two short breaks!), I’ve navigated every season of the breastfeeding journey, from the tender, fragile early days to the joyful, sometimes chaotic toddler (and preschool) years. I've tandem nursed and I've had the beautiful experience of a little one weaning all on her own. (She brags that "I drank up all the milk!" 😂) I’ve lived the beauty of natural child spacing, and I’ve felt the profound peace that comes from leaning into the biological rhythms God designed for our bodies.
Whether you are here because you are a first-time mama curious about this natural (non-systematic) form of "natural family planning" or you are a seasoned parent looking for a way to prioritize bonding while naturally spacing your children, you are in the right place. Let’s dive into the "why" and "how" of this beautiful, ancient practice, updated for 2026.

WHAT IS ECOLOGICAL BREASTFEEDING?

At its simplest, ecological breastfeeding is a "style" of nursing that mothers and babies have followed since the beginning of humanity. It’s more than just providing milk; it’s a way of mothering that keeps mama and baby in close physical proximity, leading to the natural suppression of ovulation.
Scientifically, Ecological Breastfeeding is the more intense big sister of what is called the Lactational Amenorrhea Method. When a baby nurses frequently and exclusively, it triggers a hormonal response, specifically affecting the pulsatile release of gonadotropin-releasing hormone, which keeps the ovaries in a "quiet" state.
But here is the "real talk": it isn't a magic switch. It requires a specific set of behaviors to be effective for natural child spacing. We call these the Seven Standards, popularized by the wonderful Sheila Kippley.
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THE SEVEN STANDARDS: YOUR GENTLE GUIDE

I like to think of these standards not as a strict "to-do" list that determines your value as a mother, but as a roadmap for those who want to maximize the spacing benefits of breastfeeding while developing a lovely close bond with their babies. Think of them as a "reminder" that your body was designed to be your baby's everything ~ for a season.
​1. Exclusive Breastfeeding for the First Six Months
In our modern world, it’s so tempting to start solids early or offer a little water. But for ecological breastfeeding, "exclusive" means nothing else: no water, no juice, no cereal...for the first full six months. This ensures your baby is getting 100% of their nutrition from you, keeping your prolactin levels high. If that sounds unhealthy, think again. Exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months isn't just something hippie moms came up with while lounging about in their yurts knitting hemp diapers. Both the World Health Organization and the American Academy of Pediatrics recommend exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of a baby's life.
Of course, every baby is different and there may be health reasons that require your young baby to be fed something other than breastmilk. This "exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months" advice applies to the vast majority of healthy babies, but not every baby.
2. Pacify at the Breast
This is one of the most controversial standards in a culture that emphasizes getting your baby to self-soothe as early as possible. When your baby is fussy, tired, or just needs a moment of peace, offer the breast. We often hear "don't let the baby use you as a pacifier," but I want to give you permission to ignore that. You are the original pacifier! Contrary to the "don't let your babies use you as a pacifier" mentality, the reality is pacifiers are designed to replace the mother's nipple, not the other way around! Despite the vast majority of media images of babies, which almost universally depict them with a pacifier stuck in the mouth, nuks are not an essential piece of equipment for baby care.
That being said, there is no need to view pacifiers in a strictly good / bad way. If your goal is to use ecological breastfeeding for its child spacing effects, then it is very important to avoid pacifier use. However, this does not mean pacifiers are inherently "bad." They are tools that, when used appropriately, can be beneficial.
In my family, I raised my seven kids without pacifiers except for brief use by my last two babies who required NICU stays and pacifiers were helpful to soothe them when I was unable to be with them. That being said, if you can avoid them completely, as I was able to with my first five babies, this will help you to achieve natural child spacing if that is your goal. Comforting your baby at the breast ensures the frequent stimulation your body needs to keep your reproductive hormones suppressed.
3. No Bottles or Pacifiers
This is the flip side of Standard 2 and while it may seem a bit redundant, it is striving to make the point perfectly clear: avoid artificial nipples entirely. They change the way a baby sucks and can subtly decrease the time a baby spends at the breast. Even a "small" bottle can sometimes lead to a longer stretch of sleep or a skipped nursing session that might just signal your body to start cycling again. In my Fertility after Childbirth course, mothers learn that soon after birth, your reproductive hormones and your breastfeeding hormones are in a kind of tug of war for dominance. By feeding your baby directly at the breast every time, you strengthen as much as possible the "breastfeeding" side of that tug of war, lengthening your natural spacing between babies.
4. Sleep with Your Baby for Night Feedings
While bedsharing with babies is very controversial, it is important to understand that from a biological perspective, night nursing is the heavy hitter for child spacing. Prolactin levels are highest during the night. By keeping your baby close at night (safely co-sleeping or with baby in a "side-car" bed arrangement), you can nurse almost without waking up, preserving your own rest while keeping your breastfeeding hormones dominant. I honestly remember feeling perplexed why everyone repeatedly asked me if my very young baby was "sleeping through the night." I wondered why they were obsessed with baby's sleep as, most nights, I felt well rested. And after sharing sleep with all seven of my babies, I am convinced that with safe sleep sharing, most mothers and young babies experience more restful sleep.
5. Sleep with Your Baby for Nap Feedings
This is the standard people often forget or choose to skip! In her teaching on ecological breastfeeding, Sheila Kippley often emphasizes the "daily nap feeding." Even as baby gets older, lying down with them for a nap and nursing them to sleep provides that mid-day lactation hormone "boost" that keeps ovulation at bay. It’s also a wonderful way for a busy mama to catch her breath.
6. Nurse Frequently (No Schedules!)
If you find yourself looking at a clock or an app to see if it’s "time" to feed, put it away. Ecological breastfeeding is about responsive, on-demand (or rather, on-cue!) nursing. Whether it's been 30 minutes or three hours, if baby shows interest, we nurse. This creates the "frequency factor" that is absolutely vital to the effectiveness of this method as a means to space pregnancies.
7. Avoid Separation (Mother-Baby Togetherness)
In our 2026 world, this can be the hardest standard. It means staying with your baby as much as possible. When we separate from our babies for long periods, we naturally skip those "snack" feeds or comfort nibbles that keep our cycles suppressed. If you have to be away, it doesn't mean you've "failed," but it does mean the child-spacing benefit may be less reliable or lost entirely. If you routinely need to be separated from your baby for work or other reasons, do not rely on breastfeeding to space your babies. In that case, you will benefit from learning a systematic, modern form of natural family planning.
As an update to my earlier post about ecological breastfeeding, it seems like a great time to update what happened with my own fertility since my last post. Since 2014, I became pregnant three more times. I had a miscarriage in 2016 but got pregnant again in 2016 and then once more in 2022. I had a baby at 30 weeks of pregnancy in 2017 due to severe pre-eclampsia. I was unable to do all seven standards of ecological breastfeeding with her, due to her very early birth which meant her medical care, though life-saving, was not at all natural. I was able to practice most of the standards, except I had to provide donor milk to her and she was fed both my own milk and donor milk through a feeding tube for the first year of her life. Despite this, I still managed to have 12 months of natural amenorrhea (no menstrual periods and no ovulations) after her birth!
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After my last living baby's birth, my fertility returned in 2018. My cycles were very regular, interrupted only once by a molar pregnancy in 2022, that thankfully was diagnosed early. Now I am in the last stage of the menopausal transition. I do not regret using ecological breastfeeding throughout my entire childbearing years. It was a beautiful way to space our babies.

Why This Matters: The Heart of the Matter

Beyond the biological benefit of spacing pregnancies (most mamas using this method see an average of 14.5 months of natural infertility!), there is a deep, spiritual "why" here.
For those of us in the Catholic community, ecological breastfeeding is often seen as a beautiful way to live out our "openness to life" while respecting the natural rhythms God placed in the female body. It is a form of Natural Family Planning (NFP) that doesn't require thermometers, charts or peeing on strips in the early months, it just requires you and your baby.
It creates a "peaceful cocoon" around the fourth trimester and beyond. It validates the "fragile" state of early motherhood and encourages us to slow down, to sit, to cuddle, and to simply be. It is a beautiful rhythm; you give to baby, baby gives back to you by prolonging your natural infertility so you can continue to give to him, until he is independent enough to be ready for a new little sibling.

You Are Not Alone in This Journey

I’ll be the first to admit that ecological breastfeeding can feel like an "unpopular truth" in a world that demands we "get our body back" by three weeks after birth and back to work just a few weeks later. It can be exhausting. It can feel like you are the only one not "sleep training" or using a pacifier.
But you don't have to do it alone.
We have a vibrant community of mamas who are walking this same path. If you are looking for support, I would love for you to join our Catholic Nursing Mothers’ Group. We currently meet online every third Monday of the month in the morning ~ at least in the western hemisphere; we've had mothers from all over the world! It’s a space where we can talk about the nitty gritty of natural infertility, the joys of a well-latched baby, and the prayers that get us through the long nights. If you wish, click here to learn more about the group and the topics we cover in our meetings.
And if you are struggling with the "how", if the latch is agonizing or you’re worried about your supply, please reach out. I offer Breastfeeding Consultations both in-person for our Twin Cities families and virtually for my global mamas. Sometimes, a tiny adjustment is all it takes to turn a struggle into a "joyful" success.

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A Final Reminder

Your story matters. Your body is a gift, and the way you nourish your child is a profound act of love. Whether you follow all seven standards or just a few, know that you are doing a beautiful work.
There is no need to "move on" from this season before you or your baby are ready. Give yourself permission to be the "gentle guide" your baby needs.
I want to hear from you! Have you tried ecological breastfeeding? What was the hardest "standard" for you to maintain, and what was the biggest blessing you found in it? Share your journey in the comments below!
With love and support,
Christelle

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5/9/2026

THE FIRST THIRTY DAYS: GETTING STARTED BREASTFEEDING YOUR NEWBORN

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Oh, the first thirty days! ​They are such a tender, fragile, and utterly transformative time. The first six weeks aren’t just about "learning to feed the baby," it’s about the two of you finding a rhythm that will sustain you for months, or even years, to come. Like learning how to do an intricate dance with someone who doubles in size during the six-week class!
I remember with my first, I thought breastfeeding would just happen. I thought it was as natural as breathing. But as I laid there in that hospital bed, feeling the weight of responsibility and the sting of a shallow latch, I realized that while it is natural, it is also a skill, a dance that both mother and baby have to learn together.
If you are in those exhausting early weeks right now, please hear me: You are not alone. Your efforts matter deeply, and the "News about Newborns" during this neonatal period is that every single drop of milk you provide is a blessing, a literal labor of love. A self-gift with life-long benefits.

THE VITAL "NEONATAL WINDOW" 

The first 28 days are referred to as the neonatal period. This is a critical time for establishing your milk supply and training your body’s hormonal pathways. During these weeks, your breasts are "calibrating." They are learning exactly how much milk your specific baby needs. This is why it's so important to lay back and feed your baby as often and for as long as he wants. Frequent nursing ~ aim for 10 to 12 times in a 24-hour period ~ is the best way to tell your body, "Yes, we do need this much!" This isn't just about nutrition; it's about signaling. When you respond to those tiny hunger cues: the rooting, the hand-to-mouth motions, those quiet hunger grunts, you are building not only your milk supply, but a foundation of trust in you.
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TIPS FOR A STRONG START IN THE FIRST MONTH

Getting off to a strong start requires some key concepts: a good latch, frequency, and, most importantly, your own care so you can heal and regain your strength and build an abundant milk supply.
1. Focus on the Latch
A good latch shouldn't be agonizing. Yes, there might be some initial "tender" moments as your nipples get used to the sensation and the stretching, but if you feel sharp or "squashing" pain, it’s a sign to gently break the seal and try again. Aim for a "deep" latch where the baby takes in a good portion of the areola, not just the nipple.

2. Embrace the "Ecological" Rhythm
Many families I work with across the globe, and throughout the Twin Cities, St. Paul, Minneapolis, Stillwater, Woodbury, Hudson, and the St. Croix Valley are especially interested in ecological breastfeeding as one of our unique offerings. This isn't just about food; it’s a lifestyle of mother-baby togetherness. By following the "Seven Standards", which include frequent nursing, avoiding artificial nipples (pacifiers/bottles), sharing sleep, babywearing, and avoiding separations from your baby, many mothers find that this "attachment parenting" style of breastfeeding actually helps to avoid common breastfeeding difficulties, like low milk supply and engorgement -- and the plugged ducts and mastitis that often follow. And this natural way of breastfeeding suppresses the reproductive hormones in many women, spacing children naturally. It’s about working with your body’s design.
3. Maternal Care is Not Selfish
You cannot pour from an empty cup. To make milk, you need calories, hydration, and, as much as possible, rest. I know, "sleep when the baby sleeps" feels like a joke when the laundry is staring at you or your toddler is asking you to read The Cat in the Hat for the fiftieth time. But in this first month, give yourself permission to let the house be a bit ~ or a lot! ~ messy and ask for help, including care of any older siblings. Your job is to care for yourself so you can heal from the beautiful but strenuous work of birth and to care for the new little human in your life. Breastfeeding is a full-time job!

Finding Your Village: Support Groups

Breastfeeding is not meant to be done in isolation. Historically, women had sisters, mothers, and aunts surrounding them. Today, we have to be more intentional about creating that circle. At St. Croix Birth & Parenting, we offer two very special spaces for this, both available to families in the Twin Cities metro and St. Croix Valley and around the world who are looking for connection:​
  • St. Croix Mamas' Group (for "natural parenting" mommies): A casual, supportive environment where you can bring your baby, share your struggles, and celebrate the wins. Whether you're worried about supply or just need to see another mom going through what you're going through, we are here. And there is no fee to participate!
  • Catholic Nursing Mothers' Group: This is one of our especially unique offerings for families seeking Catholic breastfeeding support in the Minneapolis-St. Paul area and beyond. This online group integrates our faith into the journey. We view breastfeeding as a beautiful gift from God, a way to participate in His creative and nurturing love. We talk about the spiritual side of motherhood while troubleshooting the physical side.
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  • Both our St. Croix Mamas' Group and the Catholic Nursing Mothers' Group will be diving into the same theme for May and June: "Getting Started Breastfeeding: The First Month." It’s the perfect time to drop in, ask your questions, and find your rhythm alongside other moms. Whether you’re looking for practical tips or a little spiritual encouragement, we’d love for you to join us and give it a try—you don't have to navigate these early days alone!
If you're looking at the upcoming schedule and wondering where to begin, the Breastfeeding Matters class is a lovely first step, especially for expectant and newly postpartum families in St. Paul, Minneapolis, and surrounding Twin Cities communities. (But since it's a virtual class, you can join from anywhere!)

When You Need a Little Extra Help

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, challenges arise. Maybe it's a tongue-tie, a slow weight gain, or just a feeling of being overwhelmed. This is where professional support can make all the difference.
If you are struggling, please don't wait until you are at a breaking point. A breastfeeding consultation can provide the technical guidance and emotional reassurance you need. We can meet in person throughout the Twin Cities, including Minneapolis, St. Paul, and nearby communities, or virtually if you're further away.
Additionally, our postpartum doula services are designed to mother the mother. Imagine someone coming into your home to hold the baby so you can shower, or to fix you a nutritious snack while we talk through your breastfeeding goals. It's about providing that "gentle guide" during the transition into parenthood.

A BLESSING FOR YOUR FIRST MONTH

To the mama sitting there right now, perhaps with a sleepy baby on her chest: Your body is doing a miraculous thing. Whether your journey feels like a peaceful stream or a turbulent river right now, know that you are the perfect mother for your child.
In these first 30 days, remember you can SUCCEED when you breastfeed:
  • SUpport: Especially from your own mother and the baby's father
  • Counselor: A peer breastfeeding counselor is a wonderful asset to help support you on your breastfeeding journey.
  • Consultant: International Board-Certified Lactation Consultants (IBCLC) are the most qualified experts in lactation.
  • Education: Taking a quality breastfeeding education class before birth helps you understand how breastfeeding works, what to expect, and how to prevent common breastfeeding difficulties.
  • Example: The example of other breastfeeding mothers makes a tremendous difference in your confidence and chances of success. Join a local breastfeeding mothers' group or start your own!
  • Determination: The decision to breastfeed has to come from your own heart, not due to pressure from anyone else. Breastfeeding has to be right for you because you are needed round the clock!
You’ve got this, mama. And when it feels like you don't, we are right here to hold your hand.
I’d love to hear from you: What has been the most surprising part of your first 30 days? Or, if you’re still waiting for baby’s arrival, what is the one thing you’re most looking forward to (or nervous about) with breastfeeding? Share with us in the comments!
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5/2/2026

LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT YOU: THE MAGIC OF YOUR BABY'S FIRST VISUAL CONVERSATIONS

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There is a moment, usually in those dark, quiet hours of the early morning, when the world feels like it’s just you and your baby. You’re likely exhausted, sore, and navigating the tender, fragile transition into life with a new little soul. Then, it happens. Your baby’s eyes, which have spent most of their time tightly shut or wandering aimlessly, suddenly lock onto yours.
That first moment of eye contact is such a beautiful way to begin your parenting journey. It’s the moment the postpartum fog clears for a split second, and you realize: We are connecting. This is really happening.
Now that it's May, Healthy Vision Month, I wanted to take some time, as part of our News about Newborns series, to chat about the miracle of your baby’s developing sight in the first 28 days of life. This neonatal period is not just about biology; it’s about the very first conversations you’ll ever have, while you are also healing, adjusting, and finding your footing as a mother.

THE "MURKY" WATERS OF NEWBORN VISION

When you first bring your baby home, their world is a bit of a blur. If you’ve ever felt like your newborn is looking through you rather than at you, don't worry, you aren't imagining it!
At birth, a baby’s visual system is still under construction. Their retinas aren't fully developed, and the neural pathways between their eyes and brain are just beginning to fire up. A newborn can only see clearly about 8 to 15 inches away from their face. If that distance sounds familiar, it’s because it is exactly the distance between your face and theirs while you are cradling them for a feeding ~ or a snuggle; Dad's face is equally interesting!

Isn't it beautiful how God designed it that way? Even when their vision is limited, they are biologically "hardwired" to see the people who love them most.

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During these first few weeks, your baby sees primarily in shades of black, white, and gray. High-contrast patterns are their favorite things to look at because their brains can process those sharp edges more easily. This is why those black-and-white board books, those crazy patterned mobiles, or even the stripes on your favorite shirt might capture their attention more than the traditional pale pastel nursery.

EYE CONTACT AS THE FIRST SOUL-TO-SOUL CONVERSATION

We often think of "conversation" as something that requires words, but for a newborn, sight is the primary language. When your baby locks eyes with you, they aren't just "looking"; they are absorbing information. They are learning the topography of your face, the curve of your smile, and the light in your eyes.
This eye contact is an essential part of their social-emotional development. It triggers a cascade of "feel-good" hormones in both of you. Oxytocin, the "love hormone," floods your system, strengthening that invisible tether between parent and child. It’s a peaceful, joyful feedback loop that tells your baby, “I am safe. I am seen. I am loved.” This beautiful moment of connection is a reminder there is a deep, quiet peace to be found in simply being with your child. Even in the midst of the chaos of "mud season" here in the St. Croix Valley, as the rain pours down around me (literally, our roof leaks lol), there is order in the design.

THE FIRST 28 DAYS: WHAT TO LOOK FOR

Since May is Healthy Vision Month, it's the perfect time to give yourself permission to slow down and simply observe what is unfolding during the neonatal period. The first 28 days are a whirlwind involving enormous change for both baby and mother. While every newborn develops on their own unique timeline (and please, don't let the "comparison trap" steal your joy!), here are a few gentle things to watch for in those early weeks:
  • In the First Days: Your baby usually prefers faces, strong contrast, and that familiar 8-15 inch distance during feeds and cuddles.
  • During Week 1 to Week 2: You may notice brief periods of eye contact, short tracking movements, and longer alert windows between sleepy snuggles.
  • By the End of the First Month: Many newborns begin following a face or object a little more smoothly and showing more interest in the world around them.
​This same 28-day window is also a crucial season for postpartum recovery. While you are noticing your baby’s development, you may also be healing physically, navigating bleeding and afterpains, adjusting to hormonal shifts, and learning your baby’s rhythms one hour at a time. If you ever feel overwhelmed or uncertain about what is normal for your newborn or for your own recovery, please know that postpartum doula services can be a wonderful resource. As you navigate feeding, rest, emotional changes, and newborn questions, while also trying to take care of your own rapidly changing body, having a gentle guide by your side can provide such a sense of peace during those first fragile weeks.
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BEYOND SIGHT: THE BRIDGE TO COMMUNICATION

As your baby’s vision sharpens, you’ll notice they start to watch your hands and your mouth with intense fascination. They are preparing for the next step in their journey: active communication.
This is why I am such a passionate advocate for baby sign language classes. Long before a baby has the physical ability to form words with their mouth, they have the visual and motor skills to "speak" with their hands. By taking advantage of what they can do ~ watch you closely and mirror back the hand gestures you are using ~ you can reduce frustration and open up a whole new world of understanding between you and your little one. It’s like showing them the "doggie door" to communication so they can pass through months earlier than if you need to wait for them to grow big enough to reach the "door handle" of verbal communication!

Join Our "Look at Me, Look at You" Class

If you find yourself captivated by these early "conversations" and want to learn more about how to support your baby’s visual development, I would love to invite you to our upcoming Featured Freebie Baby Signs parent webinar: Look at Me, Look at You.
This class, designed for parents of tiny ones 0-6 months, is part of our "News About Newborns" series and is specifically designed to help you understand the nuances of your young infant's vision and development. We dive deep into how to play with your baby in ways that respect their developing nervous system while fostering that deep, secure attachment we all crave.
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Attendees will receive a sheet with practical parenting tips covered in the session, lyrics to songs, instructions for games, and pattern cards you can use with your baby. You can find more details and register on our booking site. This Featured Freebie is a wonderful way to connect with other families who are navigating the tender neonatal season right alongside you.

The SUPPORT Framework for Visual Bonding

​When things feel overwhelming, I like to use a little framework to help us stay grounded. If you're looking for ways to encourage your baby’s visual development during the first 28 days while also caring for your postpartum recovery, try the SUPPORT method:
  • Slow Down: Move your face or toys slowly. Give their eyes time to "catch" the movement.
  • Up Close: Stay within that 8-15 inch "sweet spot" during playtime.
  • Pause: Wait for them to respond. Newborns have a longer "processing time" than we do!
  • Patterns: Use high-contrast images or books to catch their interest.
  • Observe: Watch their cues. If they look away, they might be overstimulated and need a rest.
  • Rejoice: Celebrate every tiny gaze and half-smile as the blessing it is.
  • Talk: Narrate what they are looking at. "You see the twinkling lights, don't you?"

BLESSINGS FOR YOUR JOURNEY

As you navigate these early days of parenthood, and especially these first 28 days of newborn life, I hope you believe in the beautiful job you are doing. You are the "mirror" that your baby uses to understand himself and his new world. Your face is the most beautiful and interesting thing she will gaze at; your eyes are her first home.
Whether you are thriving or just trying to keep your head above water through the neonatal period, remember that you are not alone. Your story matters, and these sweet first conversations are just the beginning of a lifelong dialogue of love.
I’d love to hear from you: Do you remember the first time your baby really "saw" you? What did that moment feel like for your heart? Share your story in the comments below: I read every single one!
Blessings on you and your family,
Christelle
President, St. Croix Birth & Parenting LLC

For more tips on newborn care and parenting, check out our Rooted Families Blog or join one of our support groups.

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4/25/2026

BUILT FOR THIS: HOW YOUR BABY'S INSTINCTS LEAD THE WAY TO BREASTFEEDING SUCCESS

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In Minnesota, April is that peculiar, messy, yet miraculous bridge between seasons. "Mud season" is that time when the last stubborn patches of snow finally surrender to the soil, leaving behind a mucky landscape that looks, at first glance, a bit like a disaster. But if you look closer, there is a quiet, rhythmic movement happening beneath the surface. Life is springing up. The tulips push through the heavy wet earth, and the birds return with songs to attract a mate and play their own part in the circle of life.
As a mother of seven, I often think of early parenthood as our own personal "mud season." It's messy, exhausting, and definitely dirtier as you navigate the transition into life with a newborn. But just like the spring garden, your little wonder is arriving with everything they need to bloom already tucked inside them.
Today, I want to talk about one of the most incredible "little wonders" of all: the inherent, God-given instincts your baby is born with that lead the way to breastfeeding success. If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed by the technical "rules" of breastfeeding, take a deep breath. You, and your baby, were built for this.

THE MIRACLE OF THE "BREAST CRAWL"

When we think of newborns, we often think of them as fragile and entirely helpless. While they certainly need our protection, they are far from passive. From the moment they are placed on your chest, your baby is born with primitive neonatal reflexes (PNRs) designed specifically for survival and connection.
Have you ever heard of the "breast crawl"? It is one of the most agonizingly beautiful things to witness. If a healthy newborn is placed skin-to-skin on her mother's abdomen immediately after birth, she will instinctively begin to move. Using her tiny legs to push and her rooting reflex to seek, she can actually "crawl" her way up to the breast, find the nipple, and latch, all on her own.
This isn't just a "neat trick"; it’s a biological roadmap. These instincts, including the stepping reflex, the hand-to-mouth transition, and the search for the "target" (your areola), are part of a delicate neurobehavioral dance. When we step back and allow baby's instincts to take the lead, breastfeeding often moves from a struggle against gravity to a flow with nature.
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biological nurturing: the power of rest

In my years providing breastfeeding consultation and birth doula care in the Twin Cities, I’ve noticed that many moms are taught to sit bolt upright, use a million pillows, and "hold" the baby just right. While that works for some, it can sometimes work against gravity and the baby's natural reflexes.
This is when Biological Nurturing, or "laid-back breastfeeding" shines. In my birth classes, I teach mamas that active, upright positions help the birth to progress, despite generations of mothers being taught or forced to lie down as they are "delivered" passively of their babies. And then mothers are taught to sit upright for feeding their babies, using their breasts as if they were bottlefeeding. Which often leads to cracked and bleeding nipples and "nipple"feeding; not breastfeeding! Remember: "Upright for birth. Laid-back for breastfeeding."
When you recline comfortably ~ think of a 45-degree angle on a cozy sofa ~ gravity helps your baby’s body stay in close contact with yours. This skin-to-skin contact releases a flood of oxytocin (the "love hormone") in both of you. For your baby, being tummy-down on your body triggers those feeding reflexes rather than the "startle" reflex that often happens when they feel like they are falling.
It’s a reminder that we don't always have to "do" more. Sometimes, we just need to create the space for nature, and God’s design, to do the work.
While laid-back breastfeeding is a simple practice that can prevent or treat common early breastfeeding difficulties, it isn't magic. I recently helped a new mother who was struggling to breastfeed her newborn. Her particular anatomy made "laid-back breastfeeding" a bit more challenging. Added on to that biological challenge, her baby was bottle-fed in the hospital and nipple shields were introduced at the same time. This mama also struggled with a more forceful milk release. These interventions and the mother's forceful let-down resulted in him being somewhat more comfortable with artificial nipples; the mother reported he seemed to struggle at the breast. Furthermore, this mama described breastfeeding as being more painful on one side.
We worked on weaning baby from the shields and a minor adjustment in how this mama held her baby that immediately made breastfeeding more comfortable. By applying what she learned and working with her baby, she reported back that her baby was latching on much better and staying attached much longer and that breastfeeding was much easier. Sometimes just having an experienced breastfeeding counselor available to check out a feeding is enough to get things on track. Your baby's instincts are amazing but they may only get you so far. It's okay to ask for help if you think you and your baby might need it!

your little wonders: april & may class schedule

As part of our "Your Little Wonders" theme this season, I am so excited to help you dig into these lesser-known skills your babies possess. We aren't just teaching them; we are fostering what is already there!
Here is a glimpse at what we have coming up to help you support your baby's development:
  • Monday, April 27: Infant Massage Basics (VIRTUAL) – A tender way to bond and help with those fussy evening hours.
  • Monday, May 4: Working with Your Baby's Instincts to Breastfeed (IN PERSON / VIRTUAL) – In this FREE session, we will talk about all the amazing instincts your baby has that help them latch and attach and how to work with them. See below!​

a special invitation: st. crOix mamas' group

While I love our virtual community, there is something so incredibly restorative about sitting in a circle with other mothers who "get it." I am especially passionate about growing our local support network here in the St. Croix Valley and Twin Cities area.
I want to invite you to a very special session of the St. Croix Mamas' Group:
  • Topic: Working with Your Baby's Instincts to Breastfeed
  • When: Monday, May 4, 10:00am - 11:00am CDT
  • Where: FREE IN PERSON (and Virtual for those further away!)
  • Who: Open to all pregnant and breastfeeding moms.
Whether you are currently breastfeeding and looking for tips to make it easier, or you are pregnant and seeking natural birth support and a community to plug into, this group is for you. My heart is to create a space where my future birth doula clients and current families can find lifelong friends and evidence-based encouragement.

Click here to learn more about our Parents' Groups and RSVP!

"succeed" when you breastfeed

I want to share my own little memory device that will help you Succeed When You Breastfeed. Remember the word SUCCEED:
  • SUpport: Did you know the baby's father and your own mother are the two most important influences in a new breastfeeding mother's life? If they are not familiar with the benefits of breastfeeding, suggest they join you at a breastfeeding class to learn more!
  • Counselor: A peer breastfeeding counselor is a wonderful asset to help support you on your breastfeeding journey. Many mothers can access a peer counselor from local organizations like WIC, the Catholic Nursing Mothers' League, or La Leche League. Often these peer counselors provide free support! I am also available for in-person or virtual breastfeeding consultations.
  • Consultant: International Board-Certified Lactation Consultants (IBCLC) are the most qualified experts in lactation. Many insurance plans will pay for a consultation with an IBCLC.
  • Education: Taking a quality breastfeeding education class before birth helps you understand how breastfeeding works, what to expect, and how to prevent common breastfeeding difficulties.
  • Example: The example of other breastfeeding mothers makes a tremendous difference in your confidence and chances of success. Join a local breastfeeding mothers' group or start your own! You are always welcome in our online breastfeeding support group!
  • Determination: The decision to breastfeed has to come from your own heart, not due to pressure from anyone else. Breastfeeding has to be right for you because it's a full-time job!​
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you arE not alone

I know the fear that can come with breastfeeding. I know the worry that your body won't "work" or that you won't know what to do. But I want to remind you: You are enough. Your desire to nourish your child is a beautiful, holy thing.
Whether you are struggling with a painful latch or just looking for a village to walk alongside you, please know that there is a place for you here. There is no need to "move on" or "figure it out" by yourself. We are here to hold your hand through the mud until the flowers start to bloom.
I’d love to hear from you! Have you ever tried laid-back breastfeeding, or did you notice your baby's instincts in those first few days? Share your "wonder" stories in the comments below!
With love and prayers,
​

Christelle
President, St. Croix Birth & Parenting LLC

Interested in personalized care? Explore our birth doula services or schedule an in-person or virtual breastfeeding consultation today. We serve families locally in the Twin Cities and virtually around the world.

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    Christelle J. K. Hagen, BfNAE, ICI, SBD is a certified birth doula, certified Baby Signs instructor, Certified Birth & Bereavement Doula, fertility educator, and the President and Founder of St. Croix Birth & Parenting. Christelle helps mothers develop strategies to get pregnant naturally, give birth with confidence, and succeed when they breastfeed!
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    "Blessed are those who trust in the Lord, whose trust is in the Lord. They shall be like a tree planted by water, sending out its roots by the stream. It shall not fear when heat comes, and its leaves stay green; In the year of drought it is not anxious, and it does not cease to bear fruit." ~Jeremiah 17:7-8 (NRSV-CE)

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