GROWING GRACEFULLY

Supporting your young child through important transitions is the focus of several of our featured December classes and events, including weaning from the breast (at our online Catholic Nursing Mothers' Group) and welcoming a new sibling (in our Baby Signs "My Baby & Me" playgroup). In this post, I will share four ways to help your growing child to grow gracefully: natural breastfeeding; positive weaning; infant massage; and joyfully preparing for a new sibling.

NATURAL breastfeeding

If you are expecting a new baby, no doubt one of the most important decisions you must make is how you plan to feed your baby. Breastfeeding may not be the easiest choice, especially in the beginning. However, once you and baby get the "hang of it," it becomes second-nature for many busy new moms and babies. Breastfeeding is a wonderful way to ease your newborn's transition from in the womb to in your arms. In fact, healthy newborns have a variety of instincts that allow them to seek out the breast and latch successfully all on their own!

GENTLE, POSITIVE WEANING

While the word "weaning" often conjures up images of wailing babies and swollen, painful breasts, gentle, baby-led weaning is often so gradual and natural a process that mother may not even remember the exact day or even week that her little one weaned from the breast. Gradual weaning is gentler on both mother and baby. I use the term "positive weaning" to describe this style of weaning. Instead of abruptly removing a child from the breast, positive weaning is a mindset that respects the child's developmental readiness and views weaning as a process. Being "fully weaned" is a milestone and achievement, like mastering how to use the toilet, learning to ride a bike, or learning to read. Positive weaning also respects the mother's needs and bodily integrity, since the process of weaning may often be the child's first exposure to the idea that each person's body belongs to that person, and their first experience of respecting that others can, and will, say "no" to him or her on occasion. These important lessons have many benefits for the child long into the future.

INFANT MASSAGE

No matter how they are fed, newborns benefit from infant massage as they transition from womb to world. For a young child, touch is as vital to life as milk. Infants who regularly receive infant massage cry less, develop faster, and have fewer discomforts. Infant massage is a wonderful way to encourage your baby's health and well-being while bonding with your child.

JOYFULLY WELCOMING A NEW SIBLING

For many children, their special time as the "baby of the family" will come to an end when a new sibling arrives. The uncertainty of how their child will handle this transition is often a source of considerable worry for parents during pregnancy. Often in books or shows on this topic, the older sibling is portrayed as jealous and the parents or grandparents as only interested in the new baby, and in my opinion, these negative depictions plant seeds of worry and pessimism in the older sibling that may contribute to a long-term "sibling rivalry."

My own experiences as a mother of seven have taught me that this transition is easier on the new big brother or sister when the older child is involved in the pregnancy; for example, attending prenatal care or ultrasound appointments; looking at ultrasound photos together; or helping to pick out clothing or prepare the home for the new baby. It is beneficial if there have been age-appropriate discussions of the birth process and birth plans; as well as frequent discussions of what they can expect of a newborn, and how Mom, Dad, and Big Sister or Brother will care for the baby...all with a positive, excited attitude.

During the typical challenges of pregnancy, and especially if complications arise during the pregnancy or birth, it is best to talk with your child in an age-appropriate way about what is happening to mommy or baby and how they can help, even if in very simple ways, like, "Please bring Mommy a glass of water." When the child does these precious acts of service, praise the child, letting him or her know what a great big brother or sister he / she already is. Empathy, gentleness, education, and encouragement will go a long way toward helping the young child to embrace this new role that, God willing, will last a lifetime.

SCBP RESOURCES

• Breastfeeding Matters is our online or in-person breastfeeding prep class that meets once every month
• "Positive Weaning" is the topic for discussion at our December online Catholic Nursing Mothers' Group
• Private, online or in-person professional breastfeeding counseling is available throughout the week if you have questions about establishing breastfeeding, weaning, or other breastfeeding-related questions
• Infant Massage Basics is a two-hour online or in-person class that gives you practical information, skills, and games you can use to develop a baby massage routine; class is available once every month
• "My Baby & Me" is our sibling prep parent-child Baby Signs (R) playgroup that is offered once every two months​. While this class is currently only offered online, arrangements can be made to deliver the content in-person

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