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3/20/2025

WELCOMING A RAINBOW BABY

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When I found out I was pregnant for the third time, the first visit with my doctor wasn’t your typical early pregnancy prenatal appointment. I came armed with knowledge, but filled with apprehension. After all, I had lost my first two babies, and still didn’t know the reasons why. I asked if she might prescribe progesterone to help prevent another loss. “Usually,” she informed me, “we wait till someone has had three losses before doing that.” I wasn’t satisfied with this answer. Why wait for someone to endure three losses when something could possibly prevent the third one?
While every pregnancy and birth is an unexpected trip into the unknown, the journey after the loss of a baby (whether before or after birth) may come with especially intense feelings, such as fear, guilt, longing, anxiety, grief, joy, or hope. The parallel experiences of celebrating the new life in your womb or arms, while simultaneously grieving the loss of your previous baby, is a unique challenge.
It is common to hear “you can always have another” when well-meaning friends or family members are confronted with the news of your loss. Setting aside the fact that there is no guarantee you will get pregnant again, there is the unspoken message that another pregnancy or baby will somehow erase the pain and perhaps even the memory of the baby you lost. In reality, a new pregnancy can be both healing and agonizing. Another pregnancy doesn’t have the magical power to erase the memory of your previous baby, nor can it completely remove the pain of your loss.
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Feeding my "rainbow baby," my first living baby
After losing two previous pregnancies and trudging through the murky waters of infertility, finding myself pregnant at last felt like a miracle, though a very fragile one. As the months passed, my confidence and hope increased; still, that innocent, carefree expectation of having a living baby (that I had felt during my first pregnancy) was gone forever. When I finally held my newborn baby girl in my arms, after a very long birth, I found myself tearfully rejoicing with the words: “We waited so long for you.” I cannot begin to fully describe the joy and unimaginable unworthiness I felt at the immense gift of holding my own living child in my arms. However, Kate and Luke, our first two babies, will never be forgotten. I wait in hope to see them face to face one day.
There is no need to “move on” or “get over” the loss of your baby. Though he may no longer be with you in this life, his spirit remains. There is no need to try to forget your child who is no longer here; in fact, you will always have a special connection with her by virtue of your motherhood. Likewise, taking joy in the new life you’ve been given doesn’t diminish the memory of your other baby, just as welcoming another baby into a family doesn’t diminish his parents’ love for an older sibling. Love multiplies. Your heart can expand to welcome your new child while continuing to treasure her older siblings, whether they are in this world or the next.
Pregnancy after loss is often a frightening experience. When I found myself pregnant the second time, I was scared. It was six months after my first pregnancy – and first loss – and I was anxious. I was so scared to hope. Now, I knew how painful it was to have those blissful hopes utterly, irrevocably dashed. I was scared to attach to the new baby and, to be honest, I never really did. But even so, I lost him. And then I felt guilty and regretful that I never enjoyed Luke while he was alive inside me. All of these emotions – such as anxiety, fear, guilt, and difficulty attaching – are very common in a pregnancy after loss.
Sadly, I didn’t have much support, but thankfully, support is available to help you with these incredibly challenging emotions. Prayer, journaling, support groups, and therapy can all be of benefit as you navigate this complex journey. As a specially trained and certified birth & bereavement doula, I am available to listen and support you, whether by phone, text, or messaging, or even, possibly, to accompany you during your upcoming birth.
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Speaking of the birth of your new baby, birth following loss may be different from other birth experiences. The understandable fear you might feel could result in a slower birth. It is also possible to have flashbacks, panic attacks, or to feel dissociated from your body. If at all possible, choose a birth team who understands the complex journey of birth after loss and is fully informed of your previous loss or losses.
Due to your location, insurance coverage, or payment issues, the choice of your health care provider may not be completely yours to make; however, if possible, gather more information before settling on your doctor or midwife. Consider requesting a consultation before scheduling your first prenatal appointment. During the consultation, be curious and bring a list of questions with you. Ask what ways the provider supports families with a history of a previous loss during pregnancy or birth. Ask what additional tests or screening procedures are available or expected during your pregnancy or birth due to your history of loss. If the provider has privileges at several facilities, which facility do they recommend as the best choice for you and why? A birth and bereavement doula, who has received comprehensive training in the unique experience of birth after loss, and loss during birth, may also be a great addition to your team. Resources and links are at the end of this post.
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The baby or babies you lost can also be considered unseen members of your “birth team.” As Catholics, my husband and I asked for our miscarried children to pray for us and their new siblings throughout my pregnancies. They were our very own heavenly “prayer team.” During the pregnancy, we also asked for a special blessing from our priest. What are some ways to include your "angel baby" or your faith in your current pregnancy? Please share your ideas in the comments for other families!
Attending trauma-informed therapy sessions during your pregnancy can be of great benefit, especially if your loss occurred during a previous birth experience. While techniques for combatting fear are helpful to all birthing mothers, they are especially important when you’re in the process of welcoming your rainbow baby. If you can, take a birth course specifically designed for birth after loss, so that you can learn special tips and coping strategies unique to your situation.
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Example of a Sign for the Door to your Birth Room
It may be meaningful for you to set up a memorial of your first baby in the birthing room, so that you can honor your previous baby while welcoming your new baby. Some parents place a special sign on the door to the birthing room so that all who enter are aware of what you’ve gone through. Hopefully this will prevent uncomfortable or painful questions or statements that may otherwise trigger a strong emotional reaction.
While you will never be the same as you were before your loss, you can experience healing, hope, and even joy. Life is a beautiful gift. The baby you lost would want you to soak up all the good that you can in this life and also, when that day comes, to reunite with him in the next.
Have you experienced a loss? Are you pregnant again? Have you given birth after loss? Your story matters. By sharing, you can help other parents feel less alone. Please share your story by commenting on this post. If you need a listening ear, guidance, support, or someone to walk alongside you as you make this journey, I would love to connect with you. You are not alone!

resources for families birthing rainbow babies

  • Birth Doula Services from St Croix Birth & Parenting (for Twin Cities, Minnesota area families or traveling doula services with pre-arrangement)
  • Star Legacy Foundation's Pregnancy after Loss Classes
  • Birth and bereavement doulas​
  • Catholic birth and bereavement doulas​

LOSS RESOURCES

  • Tiny Treasures Perinatal Loss Support: provides care packages for families experiencing, facing, or having survived the loss of a baby; ships appropriately sized baby clothing to families experiencing loss at any stage of pregnancy, during birth, and early in infancy at no cost; online retreats for loss families
  • Resources for Catholic parents facing the loss of a baby​

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11/25/2023

GROWING GRACEFULLY

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Supporting your young child through important transitions is the focus of several of our featured December classes and events, including weaning from the breast (at our online Catholic Nursing Mothers' Group) and welcoming a new sibling (in our Baby Signs "My Baby & Me" playgroup). In this post, I will share four ways to help your growing child to grow gracefully: natural breastfeeding; positive weaning; infant massage; and joyfully preparing for a new sibling.
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NATURAL breastfeeding

If you are expecting a new baby, no doubt one of the most important decisions you must make is how you plan to feed your baby. Breastfeeding may not be the easiest choice, especially in the beginning. However, once you and baby get the "hang of it," it becomes second-nature for many busy new moms and babies. Breastfeeding is a wonderful way to ease your newborn's transition from in the womb to in your arms. In fact, healthy newborns have a variety of instincts that allow them to seek out the breast and latch successfully all on their own!

GENTLE, POSITIVE WEANING

While the word "weaning" often conjures up images of wailing babies and swollen, painful breasts, gentle, baby-led weaning is often so gradual and natural a process that mother may not even remember the exact day or even week that her little one weaned from the breast. Gradual weaning is gentler on both mother and baby. I use the term "positive weaning" to describe this style of weaning. Instead of abruptly removing a child from the breast, positive weaning is a mindset that respects the child's developmental readiness and views weaning as a process. Being "fully weaned" is a milestone and achievement, like mastering how to use the toilet, learning to ride a bike, or learning to read. Positive weaning also respects the mother's needs and bodily integrity, since the process of weaning may often be the child's first exposure to the idea that each person's body belongs to that person, and their first experience of respecting that others can, and will, say "no" to him or her on occasion. These important lessons have many benefits for the child long into the future.

INFANT MASSAGE

No matter how they are fed, newborns benefit from infant massage as they transition from womb to world. For a young child, touch is as vital to life as milk. Infants who regularly receive infant massage cry less, develop faster, and have fewer discomforts. Infant massage is a wonderful way to encourage your baby's health and well-being while bonding with your child.

JOYFULLY WELCOMING A NEW SIBLING

For many children, their special time as the "baby of the family" will come to an end when a new sibling arrives. The uncertainty of how their child will handle this transition is often a source of considerable worry for parents during pregnancy. Often in books or shows on this topic, the older sibling is portrayed as jealous and the parents or grandparents as only interested in the new baby, and in my opinion, these negative depictions plant seeds of worry and pessimism in the older sibling that may contribute to a long-term "sibling rivalry."
My own experiences as a mother of seven have taught me that this transition is easier on the new big brother or sister when the older child is involved in the pregnancy; for example, attending prenatal care or ultrasound appointments; looking at ultrasound photos together; or helping to pick out clothing or prepare the home for the new baby. It is beneficial if there have been age-appropriate discussions of the birth process and birth plans; as well as frequent discussions of what they can expect of a newborn, and how Mom, Dad, and Big Sister or Brother will care for the baby...all with a positive, excited attitude.
During the typical challenges of pregnancy, and especially if complications arise during the pregnancy or birth, it is best to talk with your child in an age-appropriate way about what is happening to mommy or baby and how they can help, even if in very simple ways, like, "Please bring Mommy a glass of water." When the child does these precious acts of service, praise the child, letting him or her know what a great big brother or sister he / she already is. Empathy, gentleness, education, and encouragement will go a long way toward helping the young child to embrace this new role that, God willing, will last a lifetime.

SCBP RESOURCES

  • Breastfeeding Matters is our online or in-person breastfeeding prep class that meets once every month
  • "Positive Weaning" is the topic for discussion at our December online Catholic Nursing Mothers' Group
  • Private, online or in-person professional breastfeeding counseling is available throughout the week if you have questions about establishing breastfeeding, weaning, or other breastfeeding-related questions
  • Infant Massage Basics is a two-hour online or in-person class that gives you practical information, skills, and games you can use to develop a baby massage routine; class is available once every month
  • "My Baby & Me" is our sibling prep parent-child Baby Signs (R) playgroup that is offered once every two months​. While this class is currently only offered online, arrangements can be made to deliver the content in-person
VIEW ALL CLASSES

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7/27/2022

PROGRESSIVE RELAXATION VIDEO FOR BIRTH

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Recording: Christelle Hagen
Images: Pixabay and Unsplash
© 2022 Christelle Hagen

Progressive Relaxation 1 is a progressive relaxation session focusing on tensing and releasing the muscles under your conscious control so that you can learn how your muscles feel when they are tense and relaxed. This will help you release the tension in your muscles to conserve energy for the work of birthing your baby and activate the relaxation response.
​8 minutes, 46 seconds.

Note: there is no background music during this video so that you can use any music you find relaxing, if you choose. If you use the same music during your relaxation sessions, you will condition yourself to respond to the music with relaxation. If you then choose to play the same music during your birth, you are more likely to be relaxed!

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5/26/2022

SUPERMOM-IN-TRAINING SUMMIT RECAP

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I had the opportunity to answer questions and answers about Bonding with Baby yesterday at the free online SuperMoms-in-Training Summit. It was a great experience! Since the actual recording is reserved for summit participants, here's a recap of what I discussed.
To bond with baby (as well as older children!) I suggest new parents look into attachment parenting (AP). I would argue that AP is simply instinctive parenting that has been practiced since the beginning of the human race, but it has been promoted in recent decades by Dr. William Sears and his wife, Martha Sears, RN. In their book, Attachment Parenting,* the Searses promote the "Seven B's" of AP:
  • Birth Bonding
  • Breastfeeding
  • Babywearing
  • Bed Sharing
  • Belief in the signal value of Baby's Cries
  • Beware of Baby Trainers (practices that might reduce your responsiveness to your baby)
  • Balance and Boundaries
In my Summit Q & A, I discussed a little bit about each of these practices. One reason I encourage mothers to work toward a natural, unmedicated birth without routine interventions is because such a birth usually provides the best conditions for normal breastfeeding, and breastfeeding is an important factor in bonding. Another important part of Birth Bonding is skin-to-skin contact between mom and baby -- and also dad and baby! And skin-to-skin is something you can do with your baby anytime, not just at birth.
Research suggests that Breastfeeding is an important factor in mother-baby bonding. It's important to add that breastfeeding doesn't guarantee bonding, and other feeding choices certainly don't prevent bonding! However, breastfeeding releases bonding hormones in baby and mother, and is known as an important factor in bonding.
There was a question about what can be done to prepare for breastfeeding during pregnancy. Make sure to get a lactation consultant lined up before you have a need! If needed, it is much easier to make a call for help to someone with whom you have already established a relationship than cold calling in what might feel like a very emergent situation. A second suggestion I have is to make sure you take a good breastfeeding preparation class!
The third B is Babywearing. Babies who are "worn" (carried in a sling or infant carrier) cry less and are perceived as "easier" / happier babies. This can make bonding easier. In addition to babywearing, I also recommend Infant Massage! Infant massage is a wonderful way to promote your baby's physical and emotional health while growing in your bond.
I spoke the longest about the fourth B: Bed Sharing because many have concerns about bedsharing safety. It is important to follow safe bed sharing guidelines! If bedsharing isn't something that you are interested in doing, it can be beneficial to sleep close to baby, for example, with baby in a "sidecar" arrangement or with bassinette in your room.
I add Baby Sign language to the fifth B: Belief in the signal value of a Baby's Cries. The parent or caregiver recognizes that babies want to communicate their needs and it is our job to observe our babies and learn what their signals mean. Baby Sign language facilitates this process by giving babies a way to communicate their needs, thoughts, and emotions before they are able to speak!
A mom asked how many signs to start with. I responded to say that in my Baby Signs classes (designed for babies 6-24 months), I teach about 6 signs per week and that seems to be enough variety without overwhelm. I also recommend starting with the mealtime signs because this is such an important area where parents and babies need to communicate every day!
Similar to the Bedsharing B, I recognize that "Beware of Baby Trainers" is one of the more controversial AP practices. To make this less confrontational, I like to explain this one as avoiding those practices that force you to be less responsive to your baby. For example, there are some methods that are designed to "train" a baby not to cry...ever. This is the kind of practice that should be avoided if you want to practice AP, because it interferes with the previous B: recognizing the signal value of a baby's cries. (This B does not mean using gentle methods of weaning or helping your toddler learn to sleep through the night at an appropriate age. Of course all children should wean from the breast and sleep through the night!)
The final B, which in my opinion is the most important, is Balance and Boundaries. Parents who gravitate to AP tend to be (like me haha) Type A perfectionists. It is important to be gentle with yourself and make sure your own needs are met: physical, emotional, social, and spiritual. AP can be intense and it is something that requires a lot of energy and commitment for the long-haul. You absolutely need to meet your own needs to be a long-term AP parent. You matter! And your baby does, too! Blessings to you and your baby.

  • *This is an affiliate link. I will get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through my links, at no cost to you. Your purchase helps to support this non-profit alliance in our mission to accompany families through the joys and sorrows of birth and parenting. Note: I truly love this book; check it out from the library if you don't want to purchase it!

RESOURCES

  • Birth Matters classes: online birth classes that help prepare you and your birth partner for an informed and empowered natural childbirth
  • Breastfeeding Matters class: an online breastfeeding education class
  • Infant Massage Basics class: an online infant massage class that teaches you the benefits of infant massage, as well as basic strokes to massage your baby
  • Baby Signs Sign, Say, and Play series: a fun online playgroup that help you teach 37 signs to your baby about topics such as mealtime, bedtime, bath time, getting dressed, pets, and park play
  • Ask Dr. Sears: the official website of Dr. William and Martha Sears that answers many questions about attachment parenting
  • Baby Signs: the website for baby sign language questions and products
  • Kelly Mom: one of our favorite go-to sites for evidence-based breastfeeding questions
  • Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory: Dr. James McKenna's official website summarizing his research into the benefits of bedsharing

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4/4/2022

THE IMPACT OF PITOCIN DURING BIRTH ON NEWBORN REFLEXES

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Once a month, Gina Peterson, IBCLC, and Lexy Backstrom, BfNA (two Catholic Nursing Mothers' League leaders) work with me to support Catholic breastfeeding mothers in two online breastfeeding support groups. We launched these groups in March of 2021, and just celebrated our first anniversary of providing free online breastfeeding education and support. This month's topic is "Working with Your Baby's Natural Instincts to Breastfeed." 
In preparing for our meeting, I took some time to refresh and expand my knowledge of the many instinctual reflexes newborns have at birth that help them to locate, attach, and breastfeed successfully -- when new mothers are given the freedom to hold their healthy, full-term babies skin-to-skin  in laid-back, tummy to tummy positions.
My interest was piqued by a 2015 research study, "Intrapartum Synthetic Oxytocin Reduce (sic) the Expression of Primitive Reflexes Associated with Breastfeeding." In this study, the researchers observed that those babies exposed to synthetic oxytocin (i.e., "Pitocin") during birth exhibited fewer primitive neonatal reflexes that are favorable to getting started with breastfeeding as compared to the group of babies with no exposure to synthetic oxytocin.
The reflexes that appear to be most affected by exposure to Pitocin include all of the rhythmic reflexes that were studied (suck, jaw jerk, and swallowing). As a group, all the primitive neonatal reflexes that were studied were observed less in the group of newborns exposed to synthetic oxytocin as compared to the newborns who were not exposed.
The researchers suggested that it may be possible that synthetic oxytocin could cross through both the placenta (which protects the baby from some harmful substances) as well as the barrier that protects the fetus from substances that could damage his or her developing brain.
There were several limitations to the study. The group without synthetic oxytocin exposure included more experienced mothers, and the group with exposure had much higher epidural anesthesia rates. However the researchers did not observe any differences in the rates of newborns exhibiting primitive neonatal reflexes based on these two variables.
My intention in sharing this information is to encourage healthy mothers to make it a goal to have a natural, unmedicated birth whenever possible -- with a supportive birth team (including a birth doula if possible), in a birthplace that has a track record of good support for natural birth experiences.
For healthy moms and babies, a natural birth is the usually the best foundation for breastfeeding. Assuming mother and baby are healthy, mothers can help baby to get started breastfeeding by laying back, supporting her body in a semi-reclined ("laid-back") position and place baby skin-to-skin and tummy to tummy, allowing baby to self-attach.
Of course, even if Pitocin is necessary during a particular mother's birth, this does not mean she and her baby will be unable to breastfeed! My first birth was augmented with Pitocin and my fifth birth was induced with Pitocin, yet both of these babies successfully breastfed into early childhood. In any birth requiring the use of medications, (as well as all natural births!) make sure to get some of each of the four components that help you to succeed when you breastfeed:
  • Support from experienced mothers
  • Counseling from a peer counselor / Consulting with a lactation professional
  • Education on the normal breastfeeding process and any current issues (if applicable) / Example of other breastfeeding mothers
  • Determination
As I know from my own experiences, breastfeeding is NOT always easy. And despite doing everything "right", it can be frustrating, exhausting, and sometimes just plain hard work that seems impossible. Your breastfeeding journey is unique to you and your baby; and as always, what works for both of you is what's best for you. Contact me if you need a listening ear or another perspective!

resources

  • Cited Research Study: "Intrapartum Synthetic Oxytocin Reduce the Expression of Primitive Reflexes Associated with Breastfeeding," Gabriel et al, Breastfeeding Medicine, 2015 May 1; 10(4): 209-213
  • Research Study on various positions for breastfeeding: "Optimal positions for the release of primitive neonatal reflexes stimulating breastfeeding," Colson, Meek, and Hawdon, Early Human Development (2008) 84, 441-449
  • Biological Nurturing: the website of laid-back breastfeeding pioneer and researcher, Dr. Suzanne Colson
  • Birth Matters birth classes: the most flexible, affordable, and encouraging online birth classes that help prepare you for your natural childbirth
  • Birth Together -- the Complete Catholic Childbirth Preparation course: an evidence-based online course for Catholic couples covering everything from tips for a healthy pregnancy, natural childbirth preparation, newborn care and characteristics, breastfeeding education, and preparing for your vocation as Catholic parents
  • Breastfeeding Matters class: a one-time online breastfeeding education class that will help you to succeed when you breastfeed
  • Catholic Nursing Mothers' Groups: free, online evidence-based support groups for Catholic breastfeeding mothers
  • Catholic Nursing Mothers League: local breastfeeding groups, Facebook groups, a blog and more for Catholic breastfeeding mothers

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    Christelle J. K. Hagen, BfNAE, ICI, SBD is a certified birth doula, certified Baby Signs instructor, Certified Birth & Bereavement Doula, fertility educator, and the President and Founder of St. Croix Birth & Parenting. Christelle helps mothers develop strategies to get pregnant naturally, give birth with confidence, and succeed when they breastfeed!
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    "Blessed are those who trust in the Lord, whose trust is in the Lord. They shall be like a tree planted by water, sending out its roots by the stream. It shall not fear when heat comes, and its leaves stay green; In the year of drought it is not anxious, and it does not cease to bear fruit." ~Jeremiah 17:7-8 (NRSV-CE)

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