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5/18/2026 Ecological Breastfeeding 101: The 'Why' and 'How' of Natural Child Spacing (Updated)Read Now
Whether you are here because you are a first-time mama curious about this natural (non-systematic) form of "natural family planning" or you are a seasoned parent looking for a way to prioritize bonding while naturally spacing your children, you are in the right place. Let’s dive into the "why" and "how" of this beautiful, ancient practice, updated for 2026. WHAT IS ECOLOGICAL BREASTFEEDING?At its simplest, ecological breastfeeding is a "style" of nursing that mothers and babies have followed since the beginning of humanity. It’s more than just providing milk; it’s a way of mothering that keeps mama and baby in close physical proximity, leading to the natural suppression of ovulation. Scientifically, Ecological Breastfeeding is the more intense big sister of what is called the Lactational Amenorrhea Method. When a baby nurses frequently and exclusively, it triggers a hormonal response, specifically affecting the pulsatile release of gonadotropin-releasing hormone, which keeps the ovaries in a "quiet" state. But here is the "real talk": it isn't a magic switch. It requires a specific set of behaviors to be effective for natural child spacing. We call these the Seven Standards, popularized by the wonderful Sheila Kippley.
THE SEVEN STANDARDS: YOUR GENTLE GUIDEI like to think of these standards not as a strict "to-do" list that determines your value as a mother, but as a roadmap for those who want to maximize the spacing benefits of breastfeeding while developing a lovely close bond with their babies. Think of them as a "reminder" that your body was designed to be your baby's everything ~ for a season. 1. Exclusive Breastfeeding for the First Six Months In our modern world, it’s so tempting to start solids early or offer a little water. But for ecological breastfeeding, "exclusive" means nothing else: no water, no juice, no cereal...for the first full six months. This ensures your baby is getting 100% of their nutrition from you, keeping your prolactin levels high. If that sounds unhealthy, think again. Exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months isn't just something hippie moms came up with while lounging about in their yurts knitting hemp diapers. Both the World Health Organization and the American Academy of Pediatrics recommend exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of a baby's life. Of course, every baby is different and there may be health reasons that require your young baby to be fed something other than breastmilk. This "exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months" advice applies to the vast majority of healthy babies, but not every baby. 2. Pacify at the Breast This is one of the most controversial standards in a culture that emphasizes getting your baby to self-soothe as early as possible. When your baby is fussy, tired, or just needs a moment of peace, offer the breast. We often hear "don't let the baby use you as a pacifier," but I want to give you permission to ignore that. You are the original pacifier! Contrary to the "don't let your babies use you as a pacifier" mentality, the reality is pacifiers are designed to replace the mother's nipple, not the other way around! Despite the vast majority of media images of babies, which almost universally depict them with a pacifier stuck in the mouth, nuks are not an essential piece of equipment for baby care. That being said, there is no need to view pacifiers in a strictly good / bad way. If your goal is to use ecological breastfeeding for its child spacing effects, then it is very important to avoid pacifier use. However, this does not mean pacifiers are inherently "bad." They are tools that, when used appropriately, can be beneficial. In my family, I raised my seven kids without pacifiers except for brief use by my last two babies who required NICU stays and pacifiers were helpful to soothe them when I was unable to be with them. That being said, if you can avoid them completely, as I was able to with my first five babies, this will help you to achieve natural child spacing if that is your goal. Comforting your baby at the breast ensures the frequent stimulation your body needs to keep your reproductive hormones suppressed. 3. No Bottles or Pacifiers This is the flip side of Standard 2 and while it may seem a bit redundant, it is striving to make the point perfectly clear: avoid artificial nipples entirely. They change the way a baby sucks and can subtly decrease the time a baby spends at the breast. Even a "small" bottle can sometimes lead to a longer stretch of sleep or a skipped nursing session that might just signal your body to start cycling again. In my Fertility after Childbirth course, mothers learn that soon after birth, your reproductive hormones and your breastfeeding hormones are in a kind of tug of war for dominance. By feeding your baby directly at the breast every time, you strengthen as much as possible the "breastfeeding" side of that tug of war, lengthening your natural spacing between babies. 4. Sleep with Your Baby for Night Feedings While bedsharing with babies is very controversial, it is important to understand that from a biological perspective, night nursing is the heavy hitter for child spacing. Prolactin levels are highest during the night. By keeping your baby close at night (safely co-sleeping or with baby in a "side-car" bed arrangement), you can nurse almost without waking up, preserving your own rest while keeping your breastfeeding hormones dominant. I honestly remember feeling perplexed why everyone repeatedly asked me if my very young baby was "sleeping through the night." I wondered why they were obsessed with baby's sleep as, most nights, I felt well rested. And after sharing sleep with all seven of my babies, I am convinced that with safe sleep sharing, most mothers and young babies experience more restful sleep. 5. Sleep with Your Baby for Nap Feedings This is the standard people often forget or choose to skip! In her teaching on ecological breastfeeding, Sheila Kippley often emphasizes the "daily nap feeding." Even as baby gets older, lying down with them for a nap and nursing them to sleep provides that mid-day lactation hormone "boost" that keeps ovulation at bay. It’s also a wonderful way for a busy mama to catch her breath. 6. Nurse Frequently (No Schedules!) If you find yourself looking at a clock or an app to see if it’s "time" to feed, put it away. Ecological breastfeeding is about responsive, on-demand (or rather, on-cue!) nursing. Whether it's been 30 minutes or three hours, if baby shows interest, we nurse. This creates the "frequency factor" that is absolutely vital to the effectiveness of this method as a means to space pregnancies. 7. Avoid Separation (Mother-Baby Togetherness) In our 2026 world, this can be the hardest standard. It means staying with your baby as much as possible. When we separate from our babies for long periods, we naturally skip those "snack" feeds or comfort nibbles that keep our cycles suppressed. If you have to be away, it doesn't mean you've "failed," but it does mean the child-spacing benefit may be less reliable or lost entirely. If you routinely need to be separated from your baby for work or other reasons, do not rely on breastfeeding to space your babies. In that case, you will benefit from learning a systematic, modern form of natural family planning. As an update to my earlier post about ecological breastfeeding, it seems like a great time to update what happened with my own fertility since my last post. Since 2014, I became pregnant three more times. I had a miscarriage in 2016 but got pregnant again in 2016 and then once more in 2022. I had a baby at 30 weeks of pregnancy in 2017 due to severe pre-eclampsia. I was unable to do all seven standards of ecological breastfeeding with her, due to her very early birth which meant her medical care, though life-saving, was not at all natural. I was able to practice most of the standards, except I had to provide donor milk to her and she was fed both my own milk and donor milk through a feeding tube for the first year of her life. Despite this, I still managed to have 12 months of natural amenorrhea (no menstrual periods and no ovulations) after her birth!  After my last living baby's birth, my fertility returned in 2018. My cycles were very regular, interrupted only once by a molar pregnancy in 2022, that thankfully was diagnosed early. Now I am in the last stage of the menopausal transition. I do not regret using ecological breastfeeding throughout my entire childbearing years. It was a beautiful way to space our babies. Why This Matters: The Heart of the MatterBeyond the biological benefit of spacing pregnancies (most mamas using this method see an average of 14.5 months of natural infertility!), there is a deep, spiritual "why" here. For those of us in the Catholic community, ecological breastfeeding is often seen as a beautiful way to live out our "openness to life" while respecting the natural rhythms God placed in the female body. It is a form of Natural Family Planning (NFP) that doesn't require thermometers, charts or peeing on strips in the early months, it just requires you and your baby. It creates a "peaceful cocoon" around the fourth trimester and beyond. It validates the "fragile" state of early motherhood and encourages us to slow down, to sit, to cuddle, and to simply be. It is a beautiful rhythm; you give to baby, baby gives back to you by prolonging your natural infertility so you can continue to give to him, until he is independent enough to be ready for a new little sibling. You Are Not Alone in This JourneyI’ll be the first to admit that ecological breastfeeding can feel like an "unpopular truth" in a world that demands we "get our body back" by three weeks after birth and back to work just a few weeks later. It can be exhausting. It can feel like you are the only one not "sleep training" or using a pacifier. But you don't have to do it alone. We have a vibrant community of mamas who are walking this same path. If you are looking for support, I would love for you to join our Catholic Nursing Mothers’ Group. We currently meet online every third Monday of the month in the morning ~ at least in the western hemisphere; we've had mothers from all over the world! It’s a space where we can talk about the nitty gritty of natural infertility, the joys of a well-latched baby, and the prayers that get us through the long nights. If you wish, click here to learn more about the group and the topics we cover in our meetings. And if you are struggling with the "how", if the latch is agonizing or you’re worried about your supply, please reach out. I offer Breastfeeding Consultations both in-person for our Twin Cities families and virtually for my global mamas. Sometimes, a tiny adjustment is all it takes to turn a struggle into a "joyful" success.  A Final ReminderYour story matters. Your body is a gift, and the way you nourish your child is a profound act of love. Whether you follow all seven standards or just a few, know that you are doing a beautiful work. There is no need to "move on" from this season before you or your baby are ready. Give yourself permission to be the "gentle guide" your baby needs. I want to hear from you! Have you tried ecological breastfeeding? What was the hardest "standard" for you to maintain, and what was the biggest blessing you found in it? Share your journey in the comments below! With love and support, Christelle 
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THE VITAL "NEONATAL WINDOW"
TIPS FOR A STRONG START IN THE FIRST MONTHGetting off to a strong start requires some key concepts: a good latch, frequency, and, most importantly, your own care so you can heal and regain your strength and build an abundant milk supply. 1. Focus on the Latch A good latch shouldn't be agonizing. Yes, there might be some initial "tender" moments as your nipples get used to the sensation and the stretching, but if you feel sharp or "squashing" pain, it’s a sign to gently break the seal and try again. Aim for a "deep" latch where the baby takes in a good portion of the areola, not just the nipple. 2. Embrace the "Ecological" Rhythm Many families I work with across the globe, and throughout the Twin Cities, St. Paul, Minneapolis, Stillwater, Woodbury, Hudson, and the St. Croix Valley are especially interested in ecological breastfeeding as one of our unique offerings. This isn't just about food; it’s a lifestyle of mother-baby togetherness. By following the "Seven Standards", which include frequent nursing, avoiding artificial nipples (pacifiers/bottles), sharing sleep, babywearing, and avoiding separations from your baby, many mothers find that this "attachment parenting" style of breastfeeding actually helps to avoid common breastfeeding difficulties, like low milk supply and engorgement -- and the plugged ducts and mastitis that often follow. And this natural way of breastfeeding suppresses the reproductive hormones in many women, spacing children naturally. It’s about working with your body’s design. 3. Maternal Care is Not Selfish You cannot pour from an empty cup. To make milk, you need calories, hydration, and, as much as possible, rest. I know, "sleep when the baby sleeps" feels like a joke when the laundry is staring at you or your toddler is asking you to read The Cat in the Hat for the fiftieth time. But in this first month, give yourself permission to let the house be a bit ~ or a lot! ~ messy and ask for help, including care of any older siblings. Your job is to care for yourself so you can heal from the beautiful but strenuous work of birth and to care for the new little human in your life. Breastfeeding is a full-time job! Finding Your Village: Support GroupsBreastfeeding is not meant to be done in isolation. Historically, women had sisters, mothers, and aunts surrounding them. Today, we have to be more intentional about creating that circle. At St. Croix Birth & Parenting, we offer two very special spaces for this, both available to families in the Twin Cities metro and St. Croix Valley and around the world who are looking for connection:
If you're looking at the upcoming schedule and wondering where to begin, the Breastfeeding Matters class is a lovely first step, especially for expectant and newly postpartum families in St. Paul, Minneapolis, and surrounding Twin Cities communities. (But since it's a virtual class, you can join from anywhere!) When You Need a Little Extra HelpSometimes, despite our best efforts, challenges arise. Maybe it's a tongue-tie, a slow weight gain, or just a feeling of being overwhelmed. This is where professional support can make all the difference. If you are struggling, please don't wait until you are at a breaking point. A breastfeeding consultation can provide the technical guidance and emotional reassurance you need. We can meet in person throughout the Twin Cities, including Minneapolis, St. Paul, and nearby communities, or virtually if you're further away. Additionally, our postpartum doula services are designed to mother the mother. Imagine someone coming into your home to hold the baby so you can shower, or to fix you a nutritious snack while we talk through your breastfeeding goals. It's about providing that "gentle guide" during the transition into parenthood. A BLESSING FOR YOUR FIRST MONTHTo the mama sitting there right now, perhaps with a sleepy baby on her chest: Your body is doing a miraculous thing. Whether your journey feels like a peaceful stream or a turbulent river right now, know that you are the perfect mother for your child. In these first 30 days, remember you can SUCCEED when you breastfeed:
You’ve got this, mama. And when it feels like you don't, we are right here to hold your hand. I’d love to hear from you: What has been the most surprising part of your first 30 days? Or, if you’re still waiting for baby’s arrival, what is the one thing you’re most looking forward to (or nervous about) with breastfeeding? Share with us in the comments! 
Now that it's May, Healthy Vision Month, I wanted to take some time, as part of our News about Newborns series, to chat about the miracle of your baby’s developing sight in the first 28 days of life. This neonatal period is not just about biology; it’s about the very first conversations you’ll ever have, while you are also healing, adjusting, and finding your footing as a mother. THE "MURKY" WATERS OF NEWBORN VISIONWhen you first bring your baby home, their world is a bit of a blur. If you’ve ever felt like your newborn is looking through you rather than at you, don't worry, you aren't imagining it! At birth, a baby’s visual system is still under construction. Their retinas aren't fully developed, and the neural pathways between their eyes and brain are just beginning to fire up. A newborn can only see clearly about 8 to 15 inches away from their face. If that distance sounds familiar, it’s because it is exactly the distance between your face and theirs while you are cradling them for a feeding ~ or a snuggle; Dad's face is equally interesting! Isn't it beautiful how God designed it that way? Even when their vision is limited, they are biologically "hardwired" to see the people who love them most.
EYE CONTACT AS THE FIRST SOUL-TO-SOUL CONVERSATIONWe often think of "conversation" as something that requires words, but for a newborn, sight is the primary language. When your baby locks eyes with you, they aren't just "looking"; they are absorbing information. They are learning the topography of your face, the curve of your smile, and the light in your eyes. This eye contact is an essential part of their social-emotional development. It triggers a cascade of "feel-good" hormones in both of you. Oxytocin, the "love hormone," floods your system, strengthening that invisible tether between parent and child. It’s a peaceful, joyful feedback loop that tells your baby, “I am safe. I am seen. I am loved.” This beautiful moment of connection is a reminder there is a deep, quiet peace to be found in simply being with your child. Even in the midst of the chaos of "mud season" here in the St. Croix Valley, as the rain pours down around me (literally, our roof leaks lol), there is order in the design. THE FIRST 28 DAYS: WHAT TO LOOK FORSince May is Healthy Vision Month, it's the perfect time to give yourself permission to slow down and simply observe what is unfolding during the neonatal period. The first 28 days are a whirlwind involving enormous change for both baby and mother. While every newborn develops on their own unique timeline (and please, don't let the "comparison trap" steal your joy!), here are a few gentle things to watch for in those early weeks:
This same 28-day window is also a crucial season for postpartum recovery. While you are noticing your baby’s development, you may also be healing physically, navigating bleeding and afterpains, adjusting to hormonal shifts, and learning your baby’s rhythms one hour at a time. If you ever feel overwhelmed or uncertain about what is normal for your newborn or for your own recovery, please know that postpartum doula services can be a wonderful resource. As you navigate feeding, rest, emotional changes, and newborn questions, while also trying to take care of your own rapidly changing body, having a gentle guide by your side can provide such a sense of peace during those first fragile weeks.  BEYOND SIGHT: THE BRIDGE TO COMMUNICATIONAs your baby’s vision sharpens, you’ll notice they start to watch your hands and your mouth with intense fascination. They are preparing for the next step in their journey: active communication. This is why I am such a passionate advocate for baby sign language classes. Long before a baby has the physical ability to form words with their mouth, they have the visual and motor skills to "speak" with their hands. By taking advantage of what they can do ~ watch you closely and mirror back the hand gestures you are using ~ you can reduce frustration and open up a whole new world of understanding between you and your little one. It’s like showing them the "doggie door" to communication so they can pass through months earlier than if you need to wait for them to grow big enough to reach the "door handle" of verbal communication! Join Our "Look at Me, Look at You" ClassIf you find yourself captivated by these early "conversations" and want to learn more about how to support your baby’s visual development, I would love to invite you to our upcoming Featured Freebie Baby Signs parent webinar: Look at Me, Look at You. This class, designed for parents of tiny ones 0-6 months, is part of our "News About Newborns" series and is specifically designed to help you understand the nuances of your young infant's vision and development. We dive deep into how to play with your baby in ways that respect their developing nervous system while fostering that deep, secure attachment we all crave.  Attendees will receive a sheet with practical parenting tips covered in the session, lyrics to songs, instructions for games, and pattern cards you can use with your baby. You can find more details and register on our booking site. This Featured Freebie is a wonderful way to connect with other families who are navigating the tender neonatal season right alongside you. The SUPPORT Framework for Visual BondingWhen things feel overwhelming, I like to use a little framework to help us stay grounded. If you're looking for ways to encourage your baby’s visual development during the first 28 days while also caring for your postpartum recovery, try the SUPPORT method:
BLESSINGS FOR YOUR JOURNEYAs you navigate these early days of parenthood, and especially these first 28 days of newborn life, I hope you believe in the beautiful job you are doing. You are the "mirror" that your baby uses to understand himself and his new world. Your face is the most beautiful and interesting thing she will gaze at; your eyes are her first home. Whether you are thriving or just trying to keep your head above water through the neonatal period, remember that you are not alone. Your story matters, and these sweet first conversations are just the beginning of a lifelong dialogue of love. I’d love to hear from you: Do you remember the first time your baby really "saw" you? What did that moment feel like for your heart? Share your story in the comments below: I read every single one! Blessings on you and your family, Christelle President, St. Croix Birth & Parenting LLC For more tips on newborn care and parenting, check out our Rooted Families Blog or join one of our support groups.
As a mother of seven, I often think of early parenthood as our own personal "mud season." It's messy, exhausting, and definitely dirtier as you navigate the transition into life with a newborn. But just like the spring garden, your little wonder is arriving with everything they need to bloom already tucked inside them. Today, I want to talk about one of the most incredible "little wonders" of all: the inherent, God-given instincts your baby is born with that lead the way to breastfeeding success. If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed by the technical "rules" of breastfeeding, take a deep breath. You, and your baby, were built for this. THE MIRACLE OF THE "BREAST CRAWL"When we think of newborns, we often think of them as fragile and entirely helpless. While they certainly need our protection, they are far from passive. From the moment they are placed on your chest, your baby is born with primitive neonatal reflexes (PNRs) designed specifically for survival and connection. Have you ever heard of the "breast crawl"? It is one of the most agonizingly beautiful things to witness. If a healthy newborn is placed skin-to-skin on her mother's abdomen immediately after birth, she will instinctively begin to move. Using her tiny legs to push and her rooting reflex to seek, she can actually "crawl" her way up to the breast, find the nipple, and latch, all on her own. This isn't just a "neat trick"; it’s a biological roadmap. These instincts, including the stepping reflex, the hand-to-mouth transition, and the search for the "target" (your areola), are part of a delicate neurobehavioral dance. When we step back and allow baby's instincts to take the lead, breastfeeding often moves from a struggle against gravity to a flow with nature.  biological nurturing: the power of restIn my years providing breastfeeding consultation and birth doula care in the Twin Cities, I’ve noticed that many moms are taught to sit bolt upright, use a million pillows, and "hold" the baby just right. While that works for some, it can sometimes work against gravity and the baby's natural reflexes. This is when Biological Nurturing, or "laid-back breastfeeding" shines. In my birth classes, I teach mamas that active, upright positions help the birth to progress, despite generations of mothers being taught or forced to lie down as they are "delivered" passively of their babies. And then mothers are taught to sit upright for feeding their babies, using their breasts as if they were bottlefeeding. Which often leads to cracked and bleeding nipples and "nipple"feeding; not breastfeeding! Remember: "Upright for birth. Laid-back for breastfeeding." When you recline comfortably ~ think of a 45-degree angle on a cozy sofa ~ gravity helps your baby’s body stay in close contact with yours. This skin-to-skin contact releases a flood of oxytocin (the "love hormone") in both of you. For your baby, being tummy-down on your body triggers those feeding reflexes rather than the "startle" reflex that often happens when they feel like they are falling. It’s a reminder that we don't always have to "do" more. Sometimes, we just need to create the space for nature, and God’s design, to do the work. While laid-back breastfeeding is a simple practice that can prevent or treat common early breastfeeding difficulties, it isn't magic. I recently helped a new mother who was struggling to breastfeed her newborn. Her particular anatomy made "laid-back breastfeeding" a bit more challenging. Added on to that biological challenge, her baby was bottle-fed in the hospital and nipple shields were introduced at the same time. This mama also struggled with a more forceful milk release. These interventions and the mother's forceful let-down resulted in him being somewhat more comfortable with artificial nipples; the mother reported he seemed to struggle at the breast. Furthermore, this mama described breastfeeding as being more painful on one side. We worked on weaning baby from the shields and a minor adjustment in how this mama held her baby that immediately made breastfeeding more comfortable. By applying what she learned and working with her baby, she reported back that her baby was latching on much better and staying attached much longer and that breastfeeding was much easier. Sometimes just having an experienced breastfeeding counselor available to check out a feeding is enough to get things on track. Your baby's instincts are amazing but they may only get you so far. It's okay to ask for help if you think you and your baby might need it! your little wonders: april & may class scheduleAs part of our "Your Little Wonders" theme this season, I am so excited to help you dig into these lesser-known skills your babies possess. We aren't just teaching them; we are fostering what is already there! Here is a glimpse at what we have coming up to help you support your baby's development:
a special invitation: st. crOix mamas' groupWhile I love our virtual community, there is something so incredibly restorative about sitting in a circle with other mothers who "get it." I am especially passionate about growing our local support network here in the St. Croix Valley and Twin Cities area. I want to invite you to a very special session of the St. Croix Mamas' Group:
Whether you are currently breastfeeding and looking for tips to make it easier, or you are pregnant and seeking natural birth support and a community to plug into, this group is for you. My heart is to create a space where my future birth doula clients and current families can find lifelong friends and evidence-based encouragement. Click here to learn more about our Parents' Groups and RSVP! "succeed" when you breastfeedI want to share my own little memory device that will help you Succeed When You Breastfeed. Remember the word SUCCEED:
 you arE not aloneI know the fear that can come with breastfeeding. I know the worry that your body won't "work" or that you won't know what to do. But I want to remind you: You are enough. Your desire to nourish your child is a beautiful, holy thing. Whether you are struggling with a painful latch or just looking for a village to walk alongside you, please know that there is a place for you here. There is no need to "move on" or "figure it out" by yourself. We are here to hold your hand through the mud until the flowers start to bloom. I’d love to hear from you! Have you ever tried laid-back breastfeeding, or did you notice your baby's instincts in those first few days? Share your "wonder" stories in the comments below! With love and prayers, Christelle President, St. Croix Birth & Parenting LLC Interested in personalized care? Explore our birth doula services or schedule an in-person or virtual breastfeeding consultation today. We serve families locally in the Twin Cities and virtually around the world.
In my experience as a mother of seven (yes, seven! Ask how I know about the "latch struggle" lol), I have learned that breastfeeding is a beautiful gift, but it is also a skill that often requires a gentle guide. While online videos and clinic visits have their place, there is something truly transformative about in-home breastfeeding support. Today, let’s talk about why inviting a professional into your sanctuary, your home, is a total game changer for your breastfeeding success. Recently, I was invited into "Rachel's" home. In addition to struggling to help her baby latch, she had been given breast shields in the hospital for flat nipples. Rachel also struggled with a forceful milk release. We worked on strategies to wean baby off the shields and use positioning techniques to help him attach and stay latched on. Rachel reported to me last week that while he still struggles with the letdown, he was staying attached for longer and that things have "definitely been improving." It has been such a blessing to be able to support this family and help make a difference at such a crucial time for long-term breastfeeding. The "Postpartum Paradox": Why Leaving the House is HardWhen you’re struggling with a newborn’s latch, the standard advice is often: "Make an appointment at the clinic." But let’s be real for a second. For a new mama, "making an appointment" involves:
This is what I call the Postpartum Paradox: the time when you most need professional breastfeeding consultation is the exact time when you are least equipped to leave your house, and when leaving your house is the least safe for your baby!  When I provide in-home support, I come to you. You don't have to put on real pants (unless you want to!). You don't have to pack a bag. You sit in your favorite chair, with your pillows, in your light. We work with your reality, not force you to come to mine! Why In-Home Support Beats a Video Every TimeI've got nothing against technology. I even offer a Breastfeeding Matters online class because I believe breastfeeding education is foundational to breastfeeding success! But there are limits to what we can do with a screen and possibly thousands of miles separating us.
The Personal Touch: Faith, Hope, and ExpertisE When you search for a birth doula in the Twin Cities, you’re looking for more than just a list of certifications. You’re looking for a heart that understands yours. At St. Croix Birth & Parenting, my approach is rooted in values-based, compassionate care. Whether I’m providing birth doula care during your birth or coming to your home for a lactation check-in, I bring my whole self to the table. As a mother who has tandem nursed three times and navigated the agonizing stress of a NICU stay and feeding tubes, I don't just "know" the technical side of breastfeeding, I feel it with you. I have sat where you are sitting. I have prayed the same prayers for peace and begging God to just let the milk flow. My goal is to provide natural birth support that extends far beyond the delivery room. We focus on the "whole" family, ensuring that the transition to parenthood is as joyful and tender as God intended it to be.  The S.U.P.P.O.R.T. Framework for Latch StrugglesIf you are struggling right now, I want to give you a small framework to hold onto until we can meet. When the "latch struggle" feels overwhelming, remember SUPPORT:
Community Matters: You Aren't Meant to Do This AloneBreastfeeding was never meant to be a solo sport. In traditional communities, a new mother would be surrounded by sisters, aunts, and grandmothers who would guide her hands and whisper encouragement. Today, we often live in "islands," and that is why I am so passionate about my support groups. Whether it’s our St. Croix Valley Mothers Support Group or our Catholic Nursing Mothers Support Group, finding your "village" is essential.  Let’s Find Your PeaceIf you are in the Twin Cities area and your breastfeeding journey feels more like a battle than a blessing, please reach out. There is no need to "tough it out" or wait for it to magically get better. Breastfeeding problems tend to get worse the longer you wait! Whether you need a one-time Newborn Care Birth Place Visit or ongoing in-home lactation support, I am here to be your gentle guide. We can work together to ensure your baby is nourished and you are empowered. I want to hear from you: What has been the most surprising part of your breastfeeding journey so far? The joy? The struggle? The middle-of-the-night realizations? Share your story in the comments below: I read every single one. Ready to get off the struggle bus? Click here to book an in-person breastfeeding consultation or a virtual breastfeeding counseling appointment* or learn more About Christelle’s experience.
* (If you are unable to locate quality local in-person support, or prefer to talk with someone of similar beliefs, a virtual visit is still a great option!)
As you prepare for the upcoming holidays, here are a few gentle reminders and practical tips to help you and your little one stay peaceful, connected, and full of Christmas joy this season. 1. Keep Connection at the Center Your little one may not understand what makes the holidays special — but they do know what makes you feel special to them. Extra gatherings can be exciting but also overwhelming for babies and toddlers. Try to hold onto a few “anchors” of connection each day — a quiet cuddle before guests arrive, a short walk outside, or singing a familiar song together. Even just slowing down for eye contact and smiles communicates love and safety in the midst of the bustle.
3. Keep Nursing Simple and Centered If you’re breastfeeding, the holidays can bring both blessings and challenges. Changes in schedule, diet, and stress can affect milk supply, and family gatherings can sometimes stir up mixed feelings about nursing in public or around relatives. And a secret that many moms don't realize is the busy-ness of the season can trigger an unexpected return of fertility! Guess how I know that?! Yes; her name is .... Remember: you are nourishing and comforting your baby — a truly beautiful and tender act of love. Try to carve out calm, private moments to nurse - if privacy feels best for you - or proudly feed your baby wherever you’re both comfortable. If you’d like some extra encouragement, join one of ouor upcoming mothers' support groups as we discuss “Nursing Your Baby Through the Holidays." 🕊️ We’ll share practical tips, laughter, and support for making this season nurturing for you and your baby. Both of these groups currently meet online, so you don't even need to leave the house!
4. Keep Expectations Gentle No one — not even the most organized parent — can do it all. This year, let “presence” be your gift. Your baby doesn’t need perfect decorations, fancy outfits, or gourmet meals. They need you — peaceful, present, and full of love. If things get loud or messy, smile and remember that these are the moments that will become stories someday. A baby’s giggle at the dinner table or a sleepy snuggle by the tree is worth more than the best Instagrammable house! Wishing You a Season of Peace and Connection May this holiday season be filled with joyful gatherings, calm mealtimes, and deep connection with your little one — body, mind, and spirit. Whether you’re signing, nursing, or simply soaking in baby cuddles by the twinkling lights, you’re doing beautiful work as a parent.
What part of the holidays are you looking forward to sharing with your little one the most? Comment below and let us know!
It is common to hear “you can always have another” when well-meaning friends or family members are confronted with the news of your loss. Setting aside the fact that there is no guarantee you will get pregnant again, there is the unspoken message that another pregnancy or baby will somehow erase the pain and perhaps even the memory of the baby you lost. In reality, a new pregnancy can be both healing and agonizing. Another pregnancy doesn’t have the magical power to erase the memory of your previous baby, nor can it completely remove the pain of your loss.
There is no need to “move on” or “get over” the loss of your baby. Though he may no longer be with you in this life, his spirit remains. There is no need to try to forget your child who is no longer here; in fact, you will always have a special connection with her by virtue of your motherhood. Likewise, taking joy in the new life you’ve been given doesn’t diminish the memory of your other baby, just as welcoming another baby into a family doesn’t diminish his parents’ love for an older sibling. Love multiplies. Your heart can expand to welcome your new child while continuing to treasure her older siblings, whether they are in this world or the next. Pregnancy after loss is often a frightening experience. When I found myself pregnant the second time, I was scared. It was six months after my first pregnancy – and first loss – and I was anxious. I was so scared to hope. Now, I knew how painful it was to have those blissful hopes utterly, irrevocably dashed. I was scared to attach to the new baby and, to be honest, I never really did. But even so, I lost him. And then I felt guilty and regretful that I never enjoyed Luke while he was alive inside me. All of these emotions – such as anxiety, fear, guilt, and difficulty attaching – are very common in a pregnancy after loss.
Speaking of the birth of your new baby, birth following loss may be different from other birth experiences. The understandable fear you might feel could result in a slower birth. It is also possible to have flashbacks, panic attacks, or to feel dissociated from your body. If at all possible, choose a birth team who understands the complex journey of birth after loss and is fully informed of your previous loss or losses. Due to your location, insurance coverage, or payment issues, the choice of your health care provider may not be completely yours to make; however, if possible, gather more information before settling on your doctor or midwife. Consider requesting a consultation before scheduling your first prenatal appointment. During the consultation, be curious and bring a list of questions with you. Ask what ways the provider supports families with a history of a previous loss during pregnancy or birth. Ask what additional tests or screening procedures are available or expected during your pregnancy or birth due to your history of loss. If the provider has privileges at several facilities, which facility do they recommend as the best choice for you and why? A birth and bereavement doula, who has received comprehensive training in the unique experience of birth after loss, and loss during birth, may also be a great addition to your team. Resources and links are at the end of this post.
Attending trauma-informed therapy sessions during your pregnancy can be of great benefit, especially if your loss occurred during a previous birth experience. While techniques for combatting fear are helpful to all birthing mothers, they are especially important when you’re in the process of welcoming your rainbow baby. If you can, take a birth course specifically designed for birth after loss, so that you can learn special tips and coping strategies unique to your situation.
While you will never be the same as you were before your loss, you can experience healing, hope, and even joy. Life is a beautiful gift. The baby you lost would want you to soak up all the good that you can in this life and also, when that day comes, to reunite with him in the next. Have you experienced a loss? Are you pregnant again? Have you given birth after loss? Your story matters. By sharing, you can help other parents feel less alone. Please share your story by commenting on this post. If you need a listening ear, guidance, support, or someone to walk alongside you as you make this journey, I would love to connect with you. You are not alone! resources for families birthing rainbow babies
LOSS RESOURCES
Valentine's Day is just a few days away! While the first thing that springs to mind may be romantic love, Valentine's Day is a wonderful time to focus on growing your connection with your little one as well. Toddlers thrive on simple, meaningful activities that engage their senses and strengthen their bond with their parents and other caregivers. I have gathered some simple activities you can easily do with the little ones in your life, while you make some precious memories. crafting A BEE-YOUTIFUL connection
For babies or young toddlers, you can add the details to their footprint to make their bee come alive. Older toddlers and preschoolers will love crafting their bee by themselves! Hint: if you don't have or don't want to use alphabet stickers, you can trace the letters, "BEE MINE," in pencil and have little ones paint over your letters. Fine motor skills, arts and crafts, and writing practice all in one! Saint Valentine love lettersWhile it is entirely possible to celebrate and enjoy Valentine's Day as it is commonly celebrated today, my Christian and Catholic readers will appreciate a faith-based activity you can do with your little ones. Since we're on the topic of "Valentines," did you know that the Saint Valentine, a Roman clergyman from the third century, is still known for writing letters of encouragement to Christians undergoing persecution? This may explain our tradition of writing sweet cards on Valentine's Day to those we love. If you are interested in adding this activity to your special day, talk with your child about people you know who might need some extra encouragement...perhaps a grandparent, a neighbor, residents at a local nursing home, immigrants, or mothers experiencing a difficult or unexpected pregnancy. Write simple messages of encouragement such as "God loves you," "Praying for you," "You are a gift," or "Jesus loves you," and having your child "sign" his name to the card, with a thumbprint, first initial or first name, depending on your child's abilities. Your little ones can also decorate their Saint Valentine cards with hearts, stickers, or stamps. You and your child can then deliver the cards to the intended recipients, bringing them joy, and practicing the virtue of kindness as a family. SENSORY PLAY WITH A HEARTFELT TWISTIf you're hoping to encourage the growth of your little one's attention span; give them an opportunity to explore textures; and practice scooping and pouring; a sensory bin is a great idea. But let's be real...when you've got little ones who may still put things in their mouths, a sensory bin can be a nerve-wracking and potentially dangerous thing! If you can handle it if the littles dump everything out, here's a great idea for a (mostly) edible sensory bin: a cereal bin!
If you want to contain the mess, and you have a big enough box, put the sensory bin and the little ones in the big box. When they're done nibbling, scooping, pouring, and exploring, remove the reusable items and toss, or compost, the remains of the cereal. sweet treats, simple joysSince we're on the topic of food, making heart-shaped treats together is a wonderful way to develop teamwork with your child, while teaching math skills. Valentine's Day and strawberries seem like a natural pair; how about your own home-made, heart-shaped strawberry roll-ups? Yes; please! With only four simple ingredients, this recipe is a great one to make with your little ones. The hardest part for them will be the three to four-hour wait while the mixture dries in the oven. (Hint: fill the time with the other activities we have suggested!) Little ones can measure out and add the ingredients to the food processor, and later, they can cut out the heart-shaped roll-ups with heart cookie cutters. As always, for their safety, make sure you stay with your child throughout this activity. COMMUNICATING LOVE WITH BABY SIGNSGetting out with your little ones to shops or stores around this time of year is a great opportunity to communicate with your child about Valentine's Day. Hearts, flowers, and so many red objects surround and delight your child! Did you know research demonstrates that little ones who use baby sign language learn to communicate more quickly with their parents or caregivers than non-signing babies, and have reduced frustration, because they can talk about the world around and inside them?
The best Valentine's Day activities are the ones that create joyful memories and strengthen family bonds. If you try one or more of these activities, make sure to share how it went in the comments. Use our hashtag #stcroixbirth on social media, so we can share the joy with you and your little ones as you connect on this special day dedicated to love! Note: this post contains affiliate links. Proceeds from your purchases helps us to continue providing free and low-cost services to families in the Twin Cities, Minnesota area, and around the world.
GENTLE, POSITIVE WEANINGWhile the word "weaning" often conjures up images of wailing babies and swollen, painful breasts, gentle, baby-led weaning is often so gradual and natural a process that mother may not even remember the exact day or even week that her little one weaned from the breast. Gradual weaning is gentler on both mother and baby. I use the term "positive weaning" to describe this style of weaning. Instead of abruptly removing a child from the breast, positive weaning is a mindset that respects the child's developmental readiness and views weaning as a process. Being "fully weaned" is a milestone and achievement, like mastering how to use the toilet, learning to ride a bike, or learning to read. Positive weaning also respects the mother's needs and bodily integrity, since the process of weaning may often be the child's first exposure to the idea that each person's body belongs to that person, and their first experience of respecting that others can, and will, say "no" to him or her on occasion. These important lessons have many benefits for the child long into the future. INFANT MASSAGENo matter how they are fed, newborns benefit from infant massage as they transition from womb to world. For a young child, touch is as vital to life as milk. Infants who regularly receive infant massage cry less, develop faster, and have fewer discomforts. Infant massage is a wonderful way to encourage your baby's health and well-being while bonding with your child. JOYFULLY WELCOMING A NEW SIBLINGFor many children, their special time as the "baby of the family" will come to an end when a new sibling arrives. The uncertainty of how their child will handle this transition is often a source of considerable worry for parents during pregnancy. Often in books or shows on this topic, the older sibling is portrayed as jealous and the parents or grandparents as only interested in the new baby, and in my opinion, these negative depictions plant seeds of worry and pessimism in the older sibling that may contribute to a long-term "sibling rivalry." My own experiences as a mother of seven have taught me that this transition is easier on the new big brother or sister when the older child is involved in the pregnancy; for example, attending prenatal care or ultrasound appointments; looking at ultrasound photos together; or helping to pick out clothing or prepare the home for the new baby. It is beneficial if there have been age-appropriate discussions of the birth process and birth plans; as well as frequent discussions of what they can expect of a newborn, and how Mom, Dad, and Big Sister or Brother will care for the baby...all with a positive, excited attitude. During the typical challenges of pregnancy, and especially if complications arise during the pregnancy or birth, it is best to talk with your child in an age-appropriate way about what is happening to mommy or baby and how they can help, even if in very simple ways, like, "Please bring Mommy a glass of water." When the child does these precious acts of service, praise the child, letting him or her know what a great big brother or sister he / she already is. Empathy, gentleness, education, and encouragement will go a long way toward helping the young child to embrace this new role that, God willing, will last a lifetime. SCBP RESOURCES
We had been hoping for and planning to try for another child -- so the news I was pregnant was welcomed by both of us -- but I share this story to let you know that holiday weaning -- and an unexpected holiday-conceived baby -- aren't just theories for me! A mere two months prior to that positive pregnancy test, when our oldest child turned two years old, I had visited my doctor to let her know that my fertility (both menstruation and ovulation) had not yet returned. Due to my prior history of infertility, she had advised that we begin to investigate possible causes. However, I had done nothing more than talk to the doctor when we conceived our dearly loved second child. Surprise! What happened? After giving birth, a breastfeeding mother has two different hormonal "sides" that can be imagined as the two sides of a scale. On one side, she has breastfeeding hormones that promote lactation (and tend to suppress ovulation) -- and on the other, reproductive hormones that promote ovulation, and which may lead to another pregnancy. While the timing of her return of fertility varies from woman to woman, and even from baby to baby by the same mother (due to many different factors) the general principle is that frequent and unrestricted suckling at the breast is the most important factor that keeps the breastfeeding hormones side of the scale "heavier," resulting in continued natural suppression of fertility. However, the further out in time from the birth, the easier it is for the reproductive hormones to tip the scales, so that menstruation or ovulation may return. This is part of the reason why the holiday season is indirectly responsible for many late summer and fall babies! What factors contribute to this unexpected holiday-related return of fertility? Here is a partial list:
If, like my husband and me, you are hoping for another baby, then just pay attention to your signs of fertility and enjoy making your holiday baby if the signs point to being fertile! However, especially if your baby is under a year old, you may want to protect your breastfeeding relationship, discourage weaning, and delay making a new baby until later in the future. In that case, you definitely want to do what you can to avoid changes in your usual nursing and sleeping routines as much as possible. This may not be the year to host holidays and celebrations! Keep your meals and preparations simple, and maybe even skip some of this year's parties. Remember, you need to maintain your normal routines as much as possible, so that baby's frequent suckling at the breast remains as consistent as possible. At the same time, be vigilant to observe and record your signs of fertility, so that if you do detect any changes that indicate fertility, you and your husband can still celebrate, but in less intimate ways. If a more detailed discussion of how to protect your breastfeeding relationship during the holidays, how to interpret your signs of fertility, or how to understand the return of fertility after birth would be helpful to you, contact me (Christelle) to book a free online, phone, or in-person consultation. As a certified breastfeeding counselor and fertility educator, I can help! For Catholic breastfeeding mothers, "Navigating the Holidays as a Breastfeeding Family," and the unexpected return of fertility are the discussion topics of our online Catholic Nursing Mothers' Group in November. Reach out if you would like to join us for this free online breastfeeding support group!
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