|
5/18/2026 Ecological Breastfeeding 101: The 'Why' and 'How' of Natural Child Spacing (Updated)Read Now
Whether you are here because you are a first-time mama curious about this natural (non-systematic) form of "natural family planning" or you are a seasoned parent looking for a way to prioritize bonding while naturally spacing your children, you are in the right place. Let’s dive into the "why" and "how" of this beautiful, ancient practice, updated for 2026. WHAT IS ECOLOGICAL BREASTFEEDING?At its simplest, ecological breastfeeding is a "style" of nursing that mothers and babies have followed since the beginning of humanity. It’s more than just providing milk; it’s a way of mothering that keeps mama and baby in close physical proximity, leading to the natural suppression of ovulation. Scientifically, Ecological Breastfeeding is the more intense big sister of what is called the Lactational Amenorrhea Method. When a baby nurses frequently and exclusively, it triggers a hormonal response, specifically affecting the pulsatile release of gonadotropin-releasing hormone, which keeps the ovaries in a "quiet" state. But here is the "real talk": it isn't a magic switch. It requires a specific set of behaviors to be effective for natural child spacing. We call these the Seven Standards, popularized by the wonderful Sheila Kippley.
THE SEVEN STANDARDS: YOUR GENTLE GUIDEI like to think of these standards not as a strict "to-do" list that determines your value as a mother, but as a roadmap for those who want to maximize the spacing benefits of breastfeeding while developing a lovely close bond with their babies. Think of them as a "reminder" that your body was designed to be your baby's everything ~ for a season. 1. Exclusive Breastfeeding for the First Six Months In our modern world, it’s so tempting to start solids early or offer a little water. But for ecological breastfeeding, "exclusive" means nothing else: no water, no juice, no cereal...for the first full six months. This ensures your baby is getting 100% of their nutrition from you, keeping your prolactin levels high. If that sounds unhealthy, think again. Exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months isn't just something hippie moms came up with while lounging about in their yurts knitting hemp diapers. Both the World Health Organization and the American Academy of Pediatrics recommend exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of a baby's life. Of course, every baby is different and there may be health reasons that require your young baby to be fed something other than breastmilk. This "exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months" advice applies to the vast majority of healthy babies, but not every baby. 2. Pacify at the Breast This is one of the most controversial standards in a culture that emphasizes getting your baby to self-soothe as early as possible. When your baby is fussy, tired, or just needs a moment of peace, offer the breast. We often hear "don't let the baby use you as a pacifier," but I want to give you permission to ignore that. You are the original pacifier! Contrary to the "don't let your babies use you as a pacifier" mentality, the reality is pacifiers are designed to replace the mother's nipple, not the other way around! Despite the vast majority of media images of babies, which almost universally depict them with a pacifier stuck in the mouth, nuks are not an essential piece of equipment for baby care. That being said, there is no need to view pacifiers in a strictly good / bad way. If your goal is to use ecological breastfeeding for its child spacing effects, then it is very important to avoid pacifier use. However, this does not mean pacifiers are inherently "bad." They are tools that, when used appropriately, can be beneficial. In my family, I raised my seven kids without pacifiers except for brief use by my last two babies who required NICU stays and pacifiers were helpful to soothe them when I was unable to be with them. That being said, if you can avoid them completely, as I was able to with my first five babies, this will help you to achieve natural child spacing if that is your goal. Comforting your baby at the breast ensures the frequent stimulation your body needs to keep your reproductive hormones suppressed. 3. No Bottles or Pacifiers This is the flip side of Standard 2 and while it may seem a bit redundant, it is striving to make the point perfectly clear: avoid artificial nipples entirely. They change the way a baby sucks and can subtly decrease the time a baby spends at the breast. Even a "small" bottle can sometimes lead to a longer stretch of sleep or a skipped nursing session that might just signal your body to start cycling again. In my Fertility after Childbirth course, mothers learn that soon after birth, your reproductive hormones and your breastfeeding hormones are in a kind of tug of war for dominance. By feeding your baby directly at the breast every time, you strengthen as much as possible the "breastfeeding" side of that tug of war, lengthening your natural spacing between babies. 4. Sleep with Your Baby for Night Feedings While bedsharing with babies is very controversial, it is important to understand that from a biological perspective, night nursing is the heavy hitter for child spacing. Prolactin levels are highest during the night. By keeping your baby close at night (safely co-sleeping or with baby in a "side-car" bed arrangement), you can nurse almost without waking up, preserving your own rest while keeping your breastfeeding hormones dominant. I honestly remember feeling perplexed why everyone repeatedly asked me if my very young baby was "sleeping through the night." I wondered why they were obsessed with baby's sleep as, most nights, I felt well rested. And after sharing sleep with all seven of my babies, I am convinced that with safe sleep sharing, most mothers and young babies experience more restful sleep. 5. Sleep with Your Baby for Nap Feedings This is the standard people often forget or choose to skip! In her teaching on ecological breastfeeding, Sheila Kippley often emphasizes the "daily nap feeding." Even as baby gets older, lying down with them for a nap and nursing them to sleep provides that mid-day lactation hormone "boost" that keeps ovulation at bay. It’s also a wonderful way for a busy mama to catch her breath. 6. Nurse Frequently (No Schedules!) If you find yourself looking at a clock or an app to see if it’s "time" to feed, put it away. Ecological breastfeeding is about responsive, on-demand (or rather, on-cue!) nursing. Whether it's been 30 minutes or three hours, if baby shows interest, we nurse. This creates the "frequency factor" that is absolutely vital to the effectiveness of this method as a means to space pregnancies. 7. Avoid Separation (Mother-Baby Togetherness) In our 2026 world, this can be the hardest standard. It means staying with your baby as much as possible. When we separate from our babies for long periods, we naturally skip those "snack" feeds or comfort nibbles that keep our cycles suppressed. If you have to be away, it doesn't mean you've "failed," but it does mean the child-spacing benefit may be less reliable or lost entirely. If you routinely need to be separated from your baby for work or other reasons, do not rely on breastfeeding to space your babies. In that case, you will benefit from learning a systematic, modern form of natural family planning. As an update to my earlier post about ecological breastfeeding, it seems like a great time to update what happened with my own fertility since my last post. Since 2014, I became pregnant three more times. I had a miscarriage in 2016 but got pregnant again in 2016 and then once more in 2022. I had a baby at 30 weeks of pregnancy in 2017 due to severe pre-eclampsia. I was unable to do all seven standards of ecological breastfeeding with her, due to her very early birth which meant her medical care, though life-saving, was not at all natural. I was able to practice most of the standards, except I had to provide donor milk to her and she was fed both my own milk and donor milk through a feeding tube for the first year of her life. Despite this, I still managed to have 12 months of natural amenorrhea (no menstrual periods and no ovulations) after her birth!  After my last living baby's birth, my fertility returned in 2018. My cycles were very regular, interrupted only once by a molar pregnancy in 2022, that thankfully was diagnosed early. Now I am in the last stage of the menopausal transition. I do not regret using ecological breastfeeding throughout my entire childbearing years. It was a beautiful way to space our babies. Why This Matters: The Heart of the MatterBeyond the biological benefit of spacing pregnancies (most mamas using this method see an average of 14.5 months of natural infertility!), there is a deep, spiritual "why" here. For those of us in the Catholic community, ecological breastfeeding is often seen as a beautiful way to live out our "openness to life" while respecting the natural rhythms God placed in the female body. It is a form of Natural Family Planning (NFP) that doesn't require thermometers, charts or peeing on strips in the early months, it just requires you and your baby. It creates a "peaceful cocoon" around the fourth trimester and beyond. It validates the "fragile" state of early motherhood and encourages us to slow down, to sit, to cuddle, and to simply be. It is a beautiful rhythm; you give to baby, baby gives back to you by prolonging your natural infertility so you can continue to give to him, until he is independent enough to be ready for a new little sibling. You Are Not Alone in This JourneyI’ll be the first to admit that ecological breastfeeding can feel like an "unpopular truth" in a world that demands we "get our body back" by three weeks after birth and back to work just a few weeks later. It can be exhausting. It can feel like you are the only one not "sleep training" or using a pacifier. But you don't have to do it alone. We have a vibrant community of mamas who are walking this same path. If you are looking for support, I would love for you to join our Catholic Nursing Mothers’ Group. We currently meet online every third Monday of the month in the morning ~ at least in the western hemisphere; we've had mothers from all over the world! It’s a space where we can talk about the nitty gritty of natural infertility, the joys of a well-latched baby, and the prayers that get us through the long nights. If you wish, click here to learn more about the group and the topics we cover in our meetings. And if you are struggling with the "how", if the latch is agonizing or you’re worried about your supply, please reach out. I offer Breastfeeding Consultations both in-person for our Twin Cities families and virtually for my global mamas. Sometimes, a tiny adjustment is all it takes to turn a struggle into a "joyful" success.  A Final ReminderYour story matters. Your body is a gift, and the way you nourish your child is a profound act of love. Whether you follow all seven standards or just a few, know that you are doing a beautiful work. There is no need to "move on" from this season before you or your baby are ready. Give yourself permission to be the "gentle guide" your baby needs. I want to hear from you! Have you tried ecological breastfeeding? What was the hardest "standard" for you to maintain, and what was the biggest blessing you found in it? Share your journey in the comments below! With love and support, Christelle 
0 Comments
THE VITAL "NEONATAL WINDOW"
TIPS FOR A STRONG START IN THE FIRST MONTHGetting off to a strong start requires some key concepts: a good latch, frequency, and, most importantly, your own care so you can heal and regain your strength and build an abundant milk supply. 1. Focus on the Latch A good latch shouldn't be agonizing. Yes, there might be some initial "tender" moments as your nipples get used to the sensation and the stretching, but if you feel sharp or "squashing" pain, it’s a sign to gently break the seal and try again. Aim for a "deep" latch where the baby takes in a good portion of the areola, not just the nipple. 2. Embrace the "Ecological" Rhythm Many families I work with across the globe, and throughout the Twin Cities, St. Paul, Minneapolis, Stillwater, Woodbury, Hudson, and the St. Croix Valley are especially interested in ecological breastfeeding as one of our unique offerings. This isn't just about food; it’s a lifestyle of mother-baby togetherness. By following the "Seven Standards", which include frequent nursing, avoiding artificial nipples (pacifiers/bottles), sharing sleep, babywearing, and avoiding separations from your baby, many mothers find that this "attachment parenting" style of breastfeeding actually helps to avoid common breastfeeding difficulties, like low milk supply and engorgement -- and the plugged ducts and mastitis that often follow. And this natural way of breastfeeding suppresses the reproductive hormones in many women, spacing children naturally. It’s about working with your body’s design. 3. Maternal Care is Not Selfish You cannot pour from an empty cup. To make milk, you need calories, hydration, and, as much as possible, rest. I know, "sleep when the baby sleeps" feels like a joke when the laundry is staring at you or your toddler is asking you to read The Cat in the Hat for the fiftieth time. But in this first month, give yourself permission to let the house be a bit ~ or a lot! ~ messy and ask for help, including care of any older siblings. Your job is to care for yourself so you can heal from the beautiful but strenuous work of birth and to care for the new little human in your life. Breastfeeding is a full-time job! Finding Your Village: Support GroupsBreastfeeding is not meant to be done in isolation. Historically, women had sisters, mothers, and aunts surrounding them. Today, we have to be more intentional about creating that circle. At St. Croix Birth & Parenting, we offer two very special spaces for this, both available to families in the Twin Cities metro and St. Croix Valley and around the world who are looking for connection:
If you're looking at the upcoming schedule and wondering where to begin, the Breastfeeding Matters class is a lovely first step, especially for expectant and newly postpartum families in St. Paul, Minneapolis, and surrounding Twin Cities communities. (But since it's a virtual class, you can join from anywhere!) When You Need a Little Extra HelpSometimes, despite our best efforts, challenges arise. Maybe it's a tongue-tie, a slow weight gain, or just a feeling of being overwhelmed. This is where professional support can make all the difference. If you are struggling, please don't wait until you are at a breaking point. A breastfeeding consultation can provide the technical guidance and emotional reassurance you need. We can meet in person throughout the Twin Cities, including Minneapolis, St. Paul, and nearby communities, or virtually if you're further away. Additionally, our postpartum doula services are designed to mother the mother. Imagine someone coming into your home to hold the baby so you can shower, or to fix you a nutritious snack while we talk through your breastfeeding goals. It's about providing that "gentle guide" during the transition into parenthood. A BLESSING FOR YOUR FIRST MONTHTo the mama sitting there right now, perhaps with a sleepy baby on her chest: Your body is doing a miraculous thing. Whether your journey feels like a peaceful stream or a turbulent river right now, know that you are the perfect mother for your child. In these first 30 days, remember you can SUCCEED when you breastfeed:
You’ve got this, mama. And when it feels like you don't, we are right here to hold your hand. I’d love to hear from you: What has been the most surprising part of your first 30 days? Or, if you’re still waiting for baby’s arrival, what is the one thing you’re most looking forward to (or nervous about) with breastfeeding? Share with us in the comments! 
As a mother of seven, I often think of early parenthood as our own personal "mud season." It's messy, exhausting, and definitely dirtier as you navigate the transition into life with a newborn. But just like the spring garden, your little wonder is arriving with everything they need to bloom already tucked inside them. Today, I want to talk about one of the most incredible "little wonders" of all: the inherent, God-given instincts your baby is born with that lead the way to breastfeeding success. If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed by the technical "rules" of breastfeeding, take a deep breath. You, and your baby, were built for this. THE MIRACLE OF THE "BREAST CRAWL"When we think of newborns, we often think of them as fragile and entirely helpless. While they certainly need our protection, they are far from passive. From the moment they are placed on your chest, your baby is born with primitive neonatal reflexes (PNRs) designed specifically for survival and connection. Have you ever heard of the "breast crawl"? It is one of the most agonizingly beautiful things to witness. If a healthy newborn is placed skin-to-skin on her mother's abdomen immediately after birth, she will instinctively begin to move. Using her tiny legs to push and her rooting reflex to seek, she can actually "crawl" her way up to the breast, find the nipple, and latch, all on her own. This isn't just a "neat trick"; it’s a biological roadmap. These instincts, including the stepping reflex, the hand-to-mouth transition, and the search for the "target" (your areola), are part of a delicate neurobehavioral dance. When we step back and allow baby's instincts to take the lead, breastfeeding often moves from a struggle against gravity to a flow with nature.  biological nurturing: the power of restIn my years providing breastfeeding consultation and birth doula care in the Twin Cities, I’ve noticed that many moms are taught to sit bolt upright, use a million pillows, and "hold" the baby just right. While that works for some, it can sometimes work against gravity and the baby's natural reflexes. This is when Biological Nurturing, or "laid-back breastfeeding" shines. In my birth classes, I teach mamas that active, upright positions help the birth to progress, despite generations of mothers being taught or forced to lie down as they are "delivered" passively of their babies. And then mothers are taught to sit upright for feeding their babies, using their breasts as if they were bottlefeeding. Which often leads to cracked and bleeding nipples and "nipple"feeding; not breastfeeding! Remember: "Upright for birth. Laid-back for breastfeeding." When you recline comfortably ~ think of a 45-degree angle on a cozy sofa ~ gravity helps your baby’s body stay in close contact with yours. This skin-to-skin contact releases a flood of oxytocin (the "love hormone") in both of you. For your baby, being tummy-down on your body triggers those feeding reflexes rather than the "startle" reflex that often happens when they feel like they are falling. It’s a reminder that we don't always have to "do" more. Sometimes, we just need to create the space for nature, and God’s design, to do the work. While laid-back breastfeeding is a simple practice that can prevent or treat common early breastfeeding difficulties, it isn't magic. I recently helped a new mother who was struggling to breastfeed her newborn. Her particular anatomy made "laid-back breastfeeding" a bit more challenging. Added on to that biological challenge, her baby was bottle-fed in the hospital and nipple shields were introduced at the same time. This mama also struggled with a more forceful milk release. These interventions and the mother's forceful let-down resulted in him being somewhat more comfortable with artificial nipples; the mother reported he seemed to struggle at the breast. Furthermore, this mama described breastfeeding as being more painful on one side. We worked on weaning baby from the shields and a minor adjustment in how this mama held her baby that immediately made breastfeeding more comfortable. By applying what she learned and working with her baby, she reported back that her baby was latching on much better and staying attached much longer and that breastfeeding was much easier. Sometimes just having an experienced breastfeeding counselor available to check out a feeding is enough to get things on track. Your baby's instincts are amazing but they may only get you so far. It's okay to ask for help if you think you and your baby might need it! your little wonders: april & may class scheduleAs part of our "Your Little Wonders" theme this season, I am so excited to help you dig into these lesser-known skills your babies possess. We aren't just teaching them; we are fostering what is already there! Here is a glimpse at what we have coming up to help you support your baby's development:
a special invitation: st. crOix mamas' groupWhile I love our virtual community, there is something so incredibly restorative about sitting in a circle with other mothers who "get it." I am especially passionate about growing our local support network here in the St. Croix Valley and Twin Cities area. I want to invite you to a very special session of the St. Croix Mamas' Group:
Whether you are currently breastfeeding and looking for tips to make it easier, or you are pregnant and seeking natural birth support and a community to plug into, this group is for you. My heart is to create a space where my future birth doula clients and current families can find lifelong friends and evidence-based encouragement. Click here to learn more about our Parents' Groups and RSVP! "succeed" when you breastfeedI want to share my own little memory device that will help you Succeed When You Breastfeed. Remember the word SUCCEED:
 you arE not aloneI know the fear that can come with breastfeeding. I know the worry that your body won't "work" or that you won't know what to do. But I want to remind you: You are enough. Your desire to nourish your child is a beautiful, holy thing. Whether you are struggling with a painful latch or just looking for a village to walk alongside you, please know that there is a place for you here. There is no need to "move on" or "figure it out" by yourself. We are here to hold your hand through the mud until the flowers start to bloom. I’d love to hear from you! Have you ever tried laid-back breastfeeding, or did you notice your baby's instincts in those first few days? Share your "wonder" stories in the comments below! With love and prayers, Christelle President, St. Croix Birth & Parenting LLC Interested in personalized care? Explore our birth doula services or schedule an in-person or virtual breastfeeding consultation today. We serve families locally in the Twin Cities and virtually around the world.
GENTLE, POSITIVE WEANINGWhile the word "weaning" often conjures up images of wailing babies and swollen, painful breasts, gentle, baby-led weaning is often so gradual and natural a process that mother may not even remember the exact day or even week that her little one weaned from the breast. Gradual weaning is gentler on both mother and baby. I use the term "positive weaning" to describe this style of weaning. Instead of abruptly removing a child from the breast, positive weaning is a mindset that respects the child's developmental readiness and views weaning as a process. Being "fully weaned" is a milestone and achievement, like mastering how to use the toilet, learning to ride a bike, or learning to read. Positive weaning also respects the mother's needs and bodily integrity, since the process of weaning may often be the child's first exposure to the idea that each person's body belongs to that person, and their first experience of respecting that others can, and will, say "no" to him or her on occasion. These important lessons have many benefits for the child long into the future. INFANT MASSAGENo matter how they are fed, newborns benefit from infant massage as they transition from womb to world. For a young child, touch is as vital to life as milk. Infants who regularly receive infant massage cry less, develop faster, and have fewer discomforts. Infant massage is a wonderful way to encourage your baby's health and well-being while bonding with your child. JOYFULLY WELCOMING A NEW SIBLINGFor many children, their special time as the "baby of the family" will come to an end when a new sibling arrives. The uncertainty of how their child will handle this transition is often a source of considerable worry for parents during pregnancy. Often in books or shows on this topic, the older sibling is portrayed as jealous and the parents or grandparents as only interested in the new baby, and in my opinion, these negative depictions plant seeds of worry and pessimism in the older sibling that may contribute to a long-term "sibling rivalry." My own experiences as a mother of seven have taught me that this transition is easier on the new big brother or sister when the older child is involved in the pregnancy; for example, attending prenatal care or ultrasound appointments; looking at ultrasound photos together; or helping to pick out clothing or prepare the home for the new baby. It is beneficial if there have been age-appropriate discussions of the birth process and birth plans; as well as frequent discussions of what they can expect of a newborn, and how Mom, Dad, and Big Sister or Brother will care for the baby...all with a positive, excited attitude. During the typical challenges of pregnancy, and especially if complications arise during the pregnancy or birth, it is best to talk with your child in an age-appropriate way about what is happening to mommy or baby and how they can help, even if in very simple ways, like, "Please bring Mommy a glass of water." When the child does these precious acts of service, praise the child, letting him or her know what a great big brother or sister he / she already is. Empathy, gentleness, education, and encouragement will go a long way toward helping the young child to embrace this new role that, God willing, will last a lifetime. SCBP RESOURCES
We had been hoping for and planning to try for another child -- so the news I was pregnant was welcomed by both of us -- but I share this story to let you know that holiday weaning -- and an unexpected holiday-conceived baby -- aren't just theories for me! A mere two months prior to that positive pregnancy test, when our oldest child turned two years old, I had visited my doctor to let her know that my fertility (both menstruation and ovulation) had not yet returned. Due to my prior history of infertility, she had advised that we begin to investigate possible causes. However, I had done nothing more than talk to the doctor when we conceived our dearly loved second child. Surprise! What happened? After giving birth, a breastfeeding mother has two different hormonal "sides" that can be imagined as the two sides of a scale. On one side, she has breastfeeding hormones that promote lactation (and tend to suppress ovulation) -- and on the other, reproductive hormones that promote ovulation, and which may lead to another pregnancy. While the timing of her return of fertility varies from woman to woman, and even from baby to baby by the same mother (due to many different factors) the general principle is that frequent and unrestricted suckling at the breast is the most important factor that keeps the breastfeeding hormones side of the scale "heavier," resulting in continued natural suppression of fertility. However, the further out in time from the birth, the easier it is for the reproductive hormones to tip the scales, so that menstruation or ovulation may return. This is part of the reason why the holiday season is indirectly responsible for many late summer and fall babies! What factors contribute to this unexpected holiday-related return of fertility? Here is a partial list:
If, like my husband and me, you are hoping for another baby, then just pay attention to your signs of fertility and enjoy making your holiday baby if the signs point to being fertile! However, especially if your baby is under a year old, you may want to protect your breastfeeding relationship, discourage weaning, and delay making a new baby until later in the future. In that case, you definitely want to do what you can to avoid changes in your usual nursing and sleeping routines as much as possible. This may not be the year to host holidays and celebrations! Keep your meals and preparations simple, and maybe even skip some of this year's parties. Remember, you need to maintain your normal routines as much as possible, so that baby's frequent suckling at the breast remains as consistent as possible. At the same time, be vigilant to observe and record your signs of fertility, so that if you do detect any changes that indicate fertility, you and your husband can still celebrate, but in less intimate ways. If a more detailed discussion of how to protect your breastfeeding relationship during the holidays, how to interpret your signs of fertility, or how to understand the return of fertility after birth would be helpful to you, contact me (Christelle) to book a free online, phone, or in-person consultation. As a certified breastfeeding counselor and fertility educator, I can help! For Catholic breastfeeding mothers, "Navigating the Holidays as a Breastfeeding Family," and the unexpected return of fertility are the discussion topics of our online Catholic Nursing Mothers' Group in November. Reach out if you would like to join us for this free online breastfeeding support group!
 August was a busy month for SCBP! The month got rolling with the August 4 session of the Catholic Nursing Mothers' Group, a group co-sponsored by the Catholic Nursing Mothers' League. We discussed "Comfort Nursing." We welcomed nine mothers and their children to this online session.  The next day, August 5, I talked about "The Works of Mercy and Perinatal Loss" at Peace House right here in Stillwater, Minnesota. I was blessed to spend a lovely evening with several of the members of the Catholic Worker movement, who help women and mothers and their children in need of transitional housing, support, and life coaching. I was able to share with the group about our affiliated ministry, Tiny Treasures Perinatal Support. Team Tiny Treasures ships clothing and care packages to families facing or experiencing perinatal loss. It was an honor to discuss how this ministry is a way to "clothe the naked," "comfort the mourning" and "bury the dead".  The following day, August 6, my daughter, Emilie, joined me at the 12th Annual Memorial Walk for Halos of the St. Croix Valley, in New Richmond, Wisconsin. It was an honor to provide support (and demonstrate the resources our affiliated ministry, Tiny Treasures, provides) for the individuals and families who came out to walk to support this wonderful organization that support grieving parents and families.
In mid-August, BeeBo Bear and I had the joy of providing the August Featured Freebie Class, "A, B, C, Sign with Me," online for several mothers and their children. In this class, we had a blast learning all of the manual alphabet signs, while signing songs, and reading the classic alphabet book, Chicka Chicka Boom Boom!
Some of these mothers and kids told their friends about the fun they had in the class and just a week later, BeeBo Bear and I repeated the August Featured Freebie Class, "Under the Sea" Baby Signs Class for a larger group of mamas and littles. In this online class, designed for toddlers and preschoolers 2-5 years old, we created an octopus, sang songs, and told a story to help little ones grow in the virtue of self-control. 
8/12/2021 supporting new MOTHERs during a loCkdown: a guide for friends and extended familyRead Now A mothers' group: the good old days? The coronavirus pandemic has changed life as most of us once experienced it. Many areas of the world are in lockdown, and even in areas where things have opened up, as the number of COVID-19 cases spikes again, we will likely face more social distancing measures or quarantines to try to slow the spread (if we aren't already). For some new mothers, this slower, more home-based pace of life has been a good thing. These moms report that being quarantined with their babies has helped them breastfeed, since - just to mention one thing - being separated from a nursing baby tends to make maintaining a milk supply more challenging and if nothing else, lockdown gives us lots and lots of time with our immediate family members. But in other and important ways, social isolation is not great for new mothers. Many important services that mothers need, including lactation help, have been more difficult or impossible to access during lockdown. Aside from access to healthcare, all mothers need other mothers, friends, sisters, cousins, grandmothers, aunts...we need our sisters and our sage femmes to let us know we're not alone; we're loved; we're doing a good-enough job; our kids are normal (usually); and, if they're not, to have faith that eventually, this too shall pass. Lockdowns put a lock on these face-to-face and side-by-side moments...natural social interactions which normally serve to lower our stress levels and restore us - "enhope" us. And all this goes quadruple for new mothers. Dealing with lochia, sore nipples, night feeds, blow outs, the constant guessing games that a newborn brings (a/k/a no instruction manual), keeping a brand new non-verbal human thriving and growing, and caring for everything "down there" is just a lot. In some idealized past, we imagine our ancestral mothers got to lie around while their loving, supportive kin waited on them hand and foot. Sure, maybe that happened sometime, somewhere, but envying our long-departed great-great-grandmother's "lying in" is not really going to help you get through this painful feed, on this lonely day, at this ungodly hour. So let's break this down. New mothers have physical needs. Food, water, monster sized maternity pads (in the beginning), menstrual pads later on, baths or showers, and (eventually) clean clothes. If you love her, ask about these things. If she needs something, help or ask someone else to help. Leave things on her porch, in her mailbox, send it unaccompanied up the elevator, or throw it through her window if you have to! (Or you could just give to the baby's dad, but that's not as fun.) If she's good with her physical needs, I guarantee she has emotional needs. Call and ask about her birth. Listen. Bite your tongue if you find yourself starting any sentence with the words "at least." Listen. Celebrate the good stuff with her. Mourn with her anything she found sad. Share her anger if anything made her mad. Don't tell her what she should have done differently. Listen. Are you listening? Keep listening. No matter what, make sure to let her know how amazing she is. No one in the history of the world had her birth. It was her adventure and she is a heroine for having done it! Call another time and ask how things are going with the baby. Celebrate the joys. Mourn the things that aren't going so well with her. Did I mention don't tell her she should have done anything differently? She is probably already beating herself up about something. If her baby is growing and developing, she's doing a great job. Tell her. If her baby is struggling, offer to help. If she's got other kids, depending on your local situation, you might be able to have someone in mom's social bubble bring the baby's older siblings somewhere outside for a socially distanced / masked playdate so she can visit (whether in-person or virtual) with the doctor, or the chiropractor, or the lactation consultant, or whoever it is she thinks can help. Moms grow in confidence and feel capable when the people around them support their decisions about their baby's care. Be that person (even if you secretly disagree). Being a great friend / sister / mother / mother-in-law, etc., means supporting the new mom's efforts to become a mother, a big part of which is taking responsibility for her baby. And chances are very good that if the baby continues to struggle, even after that visit with [insert name here] she will try something else, and something else, and something else, and maybe, when she's tried everything else, she may even ask you for your advice! Now is your moment. A few days or a week later, call her again. And then again. And yet again. And pretty soon she will blossom and her tiny baby will become a chunky monkey, roll over and crawl and take his first steps, and life will settle and she will never forget that you were there, on the sidelines, cheering her on the whole time. Maybe you never carried a meal to her bedside on a solid-gold tray, but you were there. And maybe she'll tell her great-great-granddaughters about you and how you were there for her when great-grandpa was born, during the time of the world coronavirus pandemic. ways st. croix birth & Parenting can help
Is it the freezing cold that makes us hardier? Overall, Minnesota is quite a healthy state, especially for a Midwestern state. Compared to the rest of the country, we rank #1 in the nation for fewest days off for mental illness, and #3 for the fewest days off of work for physical illness. We are also #1 in the nation for fewest deaths from cardiovascular causes. Closer to the point, our babies are born at relatively higher birth weights than 45 other states, and we have a lower rate of infant mortality than many states (#12 in the nation). Only seven states have a better score for the fewest preterm births. (America's Health Rankings)  So it should come as no surprise with our great overall health and birth statistics that we also have relatively high overall breastfeeding rates. In 2016, mothers from Minnesota breastfed 90.1% of our babies at least once. Only 6 states have higher rates for ever-breastfed babies! While this is fabulous, there is still work to be done. While our exclusive breastfeeding rates at both three and six months are higher than the national average, it is still less than impressive that fewer than 1/3 of our babies (31.4%) are still exclusively breastfed at six months. Since many babies begin solids between the fourth and sixth month of age, this may not be particularly surprising. However, looking a bit earlier in life, just a little over half (53.9%) of Minnesota's babies are exclusively breastfed at a mere three months of age (CDC 2016 Breastfeeding Report Card), despite the fact that exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months provides most babies with the best start in life. Even the American Academy of Pediatrics, which has been a relatively muted in its support for breastfeeding throughout its years, published a statement in 2012 recommending again that babies should be exclusively breastfed for the first 6 months of life. Let's look at local numbers! How do our local breastfeeding rates compare with state-wide rates? Compared to the state as a whole, Washington County is very supportive of breastfeeding. Washington County Public Health and Environment announced in 2013 that it was designated a Breastfeeding Friendly Health Department. An estimated 88% of hospital-born babies are breastfeeding upon discharge from Washington County hospitals. While not all in Washington County, the three HealthEast hospitals (St. John's, St. Joseph's and Woodwinds) are all relatively close to Washington County, and all three have the Baby Friendly Hospital designation. While about 90% of these babies are being breastfed upon hospital discharge, only about 40% of babies are being exclusively breastfed upon discharge. So clearly there is work to be done encouraging mothers to exclusively breastfeed and supporting them so that they are able to exclusively breastfeed, especially through the first week of baby's life. 7.1% of children living in Washington County, MN (an estimated 4,900 children) live below the poverty line; and of Washington County residents as a whole, 7.6% are unable to get adequate food. Pregnant and breastfeeding mothers, as well as infants and children without food security who qualify based on household income may participate in the county WIC (Women, Infants & Children) Nutrition Program. In 2014 (the latest year with complete information), there were 905 babies in Washington County who were participating in the WIC (Women, Infants, and Children) Nutrition Program. Of these babies, an amazing 88.4% received some breastmilk, identical to the county statistics! By three months, the percentage of babies participating in the WIC Program who were receiving some breastmilk dropped to 44.8% -- half of the original number of breastfed babies. Focusing even more locally (again in 2014) mothers of babies participating in WIC who resided in Lake Elmo, Stillwater, and Mahtomedi had impressive breastfeeding rates. 91.7% of the babies received some breastmilk, identical to the data from MN as a whole. 40.0% of the babies were still receiving some breastmilk at 3 months of age; 30.4% were still receiving some breastmilk at 6 months of age; and 23.0% were still receiving breastmilk at a year. As with Washington County mothers as a whole--locally, there is a drop of over half the number of breastfed babies in the first three months of life. After the first three months, breastfeeding rates continue to drop, but at a much slower pace. A 2015 report about Minnesota mothers participating in WIC indicates that the most common predictors for weaning prior to 3 months include:
If baby received formula in the hospital, mother may assume the baby needs formula, or that it is just as good as breastmilk. While mothers will change their minds, it helps to stay the course if someone is supporting your original intention, and letting you know that while it may be difficult at first, breastfeeding does become much easier later on. Concerns about milk supply and getting baby latched are difficulties for which a trained breastfeeding counselor or lactation consultant can provide valuable assistance. Well-baby check-ups may not coincide with the time the mother is experiencing breastfeeding problems, and not all health care providers have the proper education and training to help breastfeeding mothers troubleshoot problems. Many mothers need help understanding how to make the transition from breastfeeding at home to the very different situation of providing baby with breastmilk after returning to work, a situation that often includes pumping or expressing her milk in less than ideal surroundings. Family and friends may not understand the importance of breastfeeding and may undermine her confidence or exert well-intentioned pressure to give formula. Mothers may not know that free breastfeeding support groups are available for help and support, or they may find it difficult to get to the support group on the day and time when it meets. When I look at these statistics, for Minnesota as a whole, as well as for WIC participants, perhaps not surprisingly, my conclusion is that breastfeeding mothers need the MOST breastfeeding support during the first week (most will be discharged from the hospital within a week), but there is still a great need for support during the first three months of their babies' lives. This is why every mother who wants to breastfeed has a right to the support of a breastfeeding counselor. Breastfeeding counselors visit mothers at the hospital and make house calls, help mothers find solutions to breastfeeding difficulties so that they can reach their breastfeeding goals, and provide a consistent and easily accessible source of support and encouragement. If medical concerns about the baby or breastfeeding issues prove complex, the breastfeeding counselor is trained to refer the mother to a lactation consultant or other health care professional. The breastfeeding counselor has time to devote to the mother-baby that is difficult to find elsewhere. Every mother has a right to a breastfeeding counselor at least for the first three months of her baby's life. How can we make that happen?
|
Archives
May 2026
Categories
All
Enter Your Email Address to get St. Croix Birth Blog Posts in Your Inbox(We don't collect your email address and you won't get anything else from us.)
|
RSS Feed