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5/18/2026 Ecological Breastfeeding 101: The 'Why' and 'How' of Natural Child Spacing (Updated)Read Now
Whether you are here because you are a first-time mama curious about this natural (non-systematic) form of "natural family planning" or you are a seasoned parent looking for a way to prioritize bonding while naturally spacing your children, you are in the right place. Let’s dive into the "why" and "how" of this beautiful, ancient practice, updated for 2026. WHAT IS ECOLOGICAL BREASTFEEDING?At its simplest, ecological breastfeeding is a "style" of nursing that mothers and babies have followed since the beginning of humanity. It’s more than just providing milk; it’s a way of mothering that keeps mama and baby in close physical proximity, leading to the natural suppression of ovulation. Scientifically, Ecological Breastfeeding is the more intense big sister of what is called the Lactational Amenorrhea Method. When a baby nurses frequently and exclusively, it triggers a hormonal response, specifically affecting the pulsatile release of gonadotropin-releasing hormone, which keeps the ovaries in a "quiet" state. But here is the "real talk": it isn't a magic switch. It requires a specific set of behaviors to be effective for natural child spacing. We call these the Seven Standards, popularized by the wonderful Sheila Kippley.
THE SEVEN STANDARDS: YOUR GENTLE GUIDEI like to think of these standards not as a strict "to-do" list that determines your value as a mother, but as a roadmap for those who want to maximize the spacing benefits of breastfeeding while developing a lovely close bond with their babies. Think of them as a "reminder" that your body was designed to be your baby's everything ~ for a season. 1. Exclusive Breastfeeding for the First Six Months In our modern world, it’s so tempting to start solids early or offer a little water. But for ecological breastfeeding, "exclusive" means nothing else: no water, no juice, no cereal...for the first full six months. This ensures your baby is getting 100% of their nutrition from you, keeping your prolactin levels high. If that sounds unhealthy, think again. Exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months isn't just something hippie moms came up with while lounging about in their yurts knitting hemp diapers. Both the World Health Organization and the American Academy of Pediatrics recommend exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of a baby's life. Of course, every baby is different and there may be health reasons that require your young baby to be fed something other than breastmilk. This "exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months" advice applies to the vast majority of healthy babies, but not every baby. 2. Pacify at the Breast This is one of the most controversial standards in a culture that emphasizes getting your baby to self-soothe as early as possible. When your baby is fussy, tired, or just needs a moment of peace, offer the breast. We often hear "don't let the baby use you as a pacifier," but I want to give you permission to ignore that. You are the original pacifier! Contrary to the "don't let your babies use you as a pacifier" mentality, the reality is pacifiers are designed to replace the mother's nipple, not the other way around! Despite the vast majority of media images of babies, which almost universally depict them with a pacifier stuck in the mouth, nuks are not an essential piece of equipment for baby care. That being said, there is no need to view pacifiers in a strictly good / bad way. If your goal is to use ecological breastfeeding for its child spacing effects, then it is very important to avoid pacifier use. However, this does not mean pacifiers are inherently "bad." They are tools that, when used appropriately, can be beneficial. In my family, I raised my seven kids without pacifiers except for brief use by my last two babies who required NICU stays and pacifiers were helpful to soothe them when I was unable to be with them. That being said, if you can avoid them completely, as I was able to with my first five babies, this will help you to achieve natural child spacing if that is your goal. Comforting your baby at the breast ensures the frequent stimulation your body needs to keep your reproductive hormones suppressed. 3. No Bottles or Pacifiers This is the flip side of Standard 2 and while it may seem a bit redundant, it is striving to make the point perfectly clear: avoid artificial nipples entirely. They change the way a baby sucks and can subtly decrease the time a baby spends at the breast. Even a "small" bottle can sometimes lead to a longer stretch of sleep or a skipped nursing session that might just signal your body to start cycling again. In my Fertility after Childbirth course, mothers learn that soon after birth, your reproductive hormones and your breastfeeding hormones are in a kind of tug of war for dominance. By feeding your baby directly at the breast every time, you strengthen as much as possible the "breastfeeding" side of that tug of war, lengthening your natural spacing between babies. 4. Sleep with Your Baby for Night Feedings While bedsharing with babies is very controversial, it is important to understand that from a biological perspective, night nursing is the heavy hitter for child spacing. Prolactin levels are highest during the night. By keeping your baby close at night (safely co-sleeping or with baby in a "side-car" bed arrangement), you can nurse almost without waking up, preserving your own rest while keeping your breastfeeding hormones dominant. I honestly remember feeling perplexed why everyone repeatedly asked me if my very young baby was "sleeping through the night." I wondered why they were obsessed with baby's sleep as, most nights, I felt well rested. And after sharing sleep with all seven of my babies, I am convinced that with safe sleep sharing, most mothers and young babies experience more restful sleep. 5. Sleep with Your Baby for Nap Feedings This is the standard people often forget or choose to skip! In her teaching on ecological breastfeeding, Sheila Kippley often emphasizes the "daily nap feeding." Even as baby gets older, lying down with them for a nap and nursing them to sleep provides that mid-day lactation hormone "boost" that keeps ovulation at bay. It’s also a wonderful way for a busy mama to catch her breath. 6. Nurse Frequently (No Schedules!) If you find yourself looking at a clock or an app to see if it’s "time" to feed, put it away. Ecological breastfeeding is about responsive, on-demand (or rather, on-cue!) nursing. Whether it's been 30 minutes or three hours, if baby shows interest, we nurse. This creates the "frequency factor" that is absolutely vital to the effectiveness of this method as a means to space pregnancies. 7. Avoid Separation (Mother-Baby Togetherness) In our 2026 world, this can be the hardest standard. It means staying with your baby as much as possible. When we separate from our babies for long periods, we naturally skip those "snack" feeds or comfort nibbles that keep our cycles suppressed. If you have to be away, it doesn't mean you've "failed," but it does mean the child-spacing benefit may be less reliable or lost entirely. If you routinely need to be separated from your baby for work or other reasons, do not rely on breastfeeding to space your babies. In that case, you will benefit from learning a systematic, modern form of natural family planning. As an update to my earlier post about ecological breastfeeding, it seems like a great time to update what happened with my own fertility since my last post. Since 2014, I became pregnant three more times. I had a miscarriage in 2016 but got pregnant again in 2016 and then once more in 2022. I had a baby at 30 weeks of pregnancy in 2017 due to severe pre-eclampsia. I was unable to do all seven standards of ecological breastfeeding with her, due to her very early birth which meant her medical care, though life-saving, was not at all natural. I was able to practice most of the standards, except I had to provide donor milk to her and she was fed both my own milk and donor milk through a feeding tube for the first year of her life. Despite this, I still managed to have 12 months of natural amenorrhea (no menstrual periods and no ovulations) after her birth!  After my last living baby's birth, my fertility returned in 2018. My cycles were very regular, interrupted only once by a molar pregnancy in 2022, that thankfully was diagnosed early. Now I am in the last stage of the menopausal transition. I do not regret using ecological breastfeeding throughout my entire childbearing years. It was a beautiful way to space our babies. Why This Matters: The Heart of the MatterBeyond the biological benefit of spacing pregnancies (most mamas using this method see an average of 14.5 months of natural infertility!), there is a deep, spiritual "why" here. For those of us in the Catholic community, ecological breastfeeding is often seen as a beautiful way to live out our "openness to life" while respecting the natural rhythms God placed in the female body. It is a form of Natural Family Planning (NFP) that doesn't require thermometers, charts or peeing on strips in the early months, it just requires you and your baby. It creates a "peaceful cocoon" around the fourth trimester and beyond. It validates the "fragile" state of early motherhood and encourages us to slow down, to sit, to cuddle, and to simply be. It is a beautiful rhythm; you give to baby, baby gives back to you by prolonging your natural infertility so you can continue to give to him, until he is independent enough to be ready for a new little sibling. You Are Not Alone in This JourneyI’ll be the first to admit that ecological breastfeeding can feel like an "unpopular truth" in a world that demands we "get our body back" by three weeks after birth and back to work just a few weeks later. It can be exhausting. It can feel like you are the only one not "sleep training" or using a pacifier. But you don't have to do it alone. We have a vibrant community of mamas who are walking this same path. If you are looking for support, I would love for you to join our Catholic Nursing Mothers’ Group. We currently meet online every third Monday of the month in the morning ~ at least in the western hemisphere; we've had mothers from all over the world! It’s a space where we can talk about the nitty gritty of natural infertility, the joys of a well-latched baby, and the prayers that get us through the long nights. If you wish, click here to learn more about the group and the topics we cover in our meetings. And if you are struggling with the "how", if the latch is agonizing or you’re worried about your supply, please reach out. I offer Breastfeeding Consultations both in-person for our Twin Cities families and virtually for my global mamas. Sometimes, a tiny adjustment is all it takes to turn a struggle into a "joyful" success.  A Final ReminderYour story matters. Your body is a gift, and the way you nourish your child is a profound act of love. Whether you follow all seven standards or just a few, know that you are doing a beautiful work. There is no need to "move on" from this season before you or your baby are ready. Give yourself permission to be the "gentle guide" your baby needs. I want to hear from you! Have you tried ecological breastfeeding? What was the hardest "standard" for you to maintain, and what was the biggest blessing you found in it? Share your journey in the comments below! With love and support, Christelle 
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If you've used Natural Family Planning [NFP] or a fertility awareness method for any length of time, you've probably heard this joke: Q. What do you call people who use NFP? A. Parents! [Yucka yucka yucka.] You may have heard that natural methods of family planning have a very high rate of effectiveness at avoiding pregnancy, as high as 99% effective, depending on the rules followed. To achieve this high rate of effectiveness, natural methods of family planning rely on abstinence from sexual intercourse and genital contact without penetration -- yes, contact pregnancies are a thing. So if that's the case, how come "NFP families" tend to be so darn big??!! (Cue family photo here.)  (Yes; they're all ours.) Let's get real. How come NFP families tend to be so darn big? 1. Taking chances. NFP requires abstinence. As I said before, "To achieve this high rate of effectiveness, natural methods of family planning rely on abstinence from sexual intercourse and genital contact." How many people do you know who are super good at abstinence from say, junk food? White lies? Gossip? And those aren't even particularly good things. Sex is a good thing. Sex with one's spouse is a very good and wonderful, and yes, pleasurable thing. Let's be real...sometimes the idea of maybe-possibly-who-knows? we could have another baby -- and babies are also very good and wonderful -- doesn't seem like such a Bad Idea. So the couple takes a chance...and along comes little Jenny or Timmy. I won't embarrass my kids by naming names, but let's just say I have personal experience with reason #1. If you are serious about not getting pregnant, you cannot, I repeat, CANNOT, take chances. 2. Being inexperienced or "relaxed". If you don't really understand how NFP works... like maybe you learned from the internet for example...you might not really understand how to observe, record, and interpret your signs of fertility. The evil twin sister of this idea is when you really do know how to do all of the above, but you just get kind of in a mindset that things are usually like "x" so you don't really need to do all the things and poof! just like that, something changes and a couple weeks later you're looking down at two pink lines...ask how I know lol. Natural methods are very unforgiving of missed observations and wishful thinking. You gotta do the method consistently to expect it to work. 3. Changing your minds. One of the benefits of natural methods of family planning is even if yesterday you were darn sure you never wanted another baby, you can change your mind the very next day and there's nothing to worry about or wait for. Go ahead and try! Newsflash: families using NFP don't need to announce their pregnancy intentions to anybody, so even if you assume or they told you that they're using NFP to avoid pregnancy, maybe they changed their minds and that is why they're having another baby! Don't assume the method "failed" -- it actually may have been used to achieve a wanted pregnancy! Thank the method for indicating you were fertile so you were able to have a baby that you wanted! 4. Method failure. While rare, it is possible that the couple used the natural method correctly, didn't take chances, and still got pregnant. If you are having sex, or even just "fooling around" without penetration, pregnancy is possible. This is true of any methods (natural or not), as long as the woman's ovaries and the man's testicles are intact. Even patients who have had a tubal ligation or vasectomy become pregnant from time to time. Life sometimes finds a way, even when the "chance" of pregnancy is extremely low! As with any family planning method, natural methods used correctly may fail to prevent pregnancy. If your sexual organs are intact, complete abstinence is the only way to be 100% certain you will not become pregnant. Share your NFP stories! I would love to hear from you!
The Fertility Matters Natural Women's Fertility Monitoring System Since healthy men are always fertile, becoming pregnant naturally - or naturally postponing pregnancy effectively - depends on understanding whether a woman is fertile or not at a particular time--by regularly observing and interpreting a woman's natural signs of fertility and infertility. Menstruating women of childbearing age move through a series of three "phases" as they move from their menstrual period, through ovulation, to the time following ovulation, up to the next menstrual period, typically about a month or so after their last menstrual period. The Fertility Matters Fertility Monitoring System provides couples with a day-to-day visual guide for determining whether she is in the first, relatively infertile, phase; the second--fertile--phase, or the third, quite infertile phase. Through a series of three classes, couples learn how to observe these natural bodily signs of fertility and infertility; how to record them correctly; and how to interpret what they have observed and recorded, so that, if they wish, they can time when they have marital relations in order to achieve pregnancy or postpone pregnancy. Fertility Matters classes also include a wealth of information on ways to naturally support or enhance fertility, for a woman's general health and well-being. One of the core, unique concepts of Fertility Matters classes is the inclusion of the Four Seasons of the Childbearing Year, and the importance of each "season" of a woman's childbearing years--not only fertility, but also pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding--and how each season is beneficial for a woman's health and long-term well-being. Other special features of my course include my exclusive GIFTs goal-setting process for couples to use to help them better align their actions with their intentions; an optional Bible Study about fertility and sexuality; and private fertility counseling sessions with me, so that couples can feel confident as they learn how to observe, record, and interpret their signs of fertility and what they have charted. As a natural family planning method, "Fertility Matters" relies heavily on the work and research of Dr. John Billings of Australia, as well as the work of Dr. Konald Prem and John and Sheila Kippley, under whom I was originally trained as an instructor of Natural Family Planning. The Fertility Matters course includes the book, A Cooperative Method of Natural Birth Control by Margaret Nofziger. Not a true "method"--since I am not a medical researcher!--the rules used are based on those of Dr. Billings, and the Kippley-Prem system. Fertility Matters is simply a different, and I would argue, a more intuitive way, to chart a woman's observations of her natural signs of fertility and infertility--one that is easy to interpret correctly. Time for a little biology lesson, or review, if these concepts are familiar to you. The three phases of infertility-fertility/ovulation-infertility are referred to as a "fertility cycle." Usually quite soon after her menstrual period has ended, a woman's cervix (the opening to her womb) begins to secrete a fluid that has the purpose of transporting her husband's sperm through the cervix and into the womb, allowing the sperm to easily achieve their goal--locating the woman's egg typically in one of her fallopian tubes, where, if conception occurs, one lucky sperm is chosen to unite with the woman's egg and a unique, unrepeatable human life begins. A woman's cervix (and her cervical fluid) also nourishes and even shelters sperm so that if ovulation is somewhat delayed, sperm are released later in a kind of "time release" fashion. This is why conception can occur days after just one act of marital union. Throughout her fertility cycle, cervical fluid production follows a "wave"-like pattern. It typically begins to flow in limited fashion, then, as ovulation nears, more cervical fluid is produced, and it develops the quality of being highly stretchy. After ovulation, these changes are reversed--the fluid is no longer stretchy and is produced in decreasing quantities until it dries up completely. Her cervix's special "fertility promoting" fluid will not be produced again until her next fertility cycle, assuming she has not become pregnant. The last day on which her cervix produces this special fertility-promoting fluid is called the "peak" day of her fertility cycle--because fertility is all "down hill" from there. It should be clear from this description that for several days before ovulation, at ovulation, and even up to two days after ovulation, pregnancy is likely if the couple engages in marital relations. It is not possible to definitely determine the exact day of ovulation without ultrasound. Therefore, for couples seeking to avoid pregnancy, a key concept in interpreting whether a woman is fertile or infertile is correctly interpreting that enough days have passed the likely time of ovulation so that conception is no longer likely--in fact, is now highly unlikely. As an experienced fertility educator & counselor, I notice that students in my classes often struggle with the concept of "peak" day. Many students erroneously assume that "Peak Day" is the day on which a woman produces the most cervical fluid, and therefore, begin to count down to the infertile phase too early. However, as I described above, Peak Day is the last day of any type of cervical secretion that indicates high fertility. I designed the Fertility Matters charting system to make it more obvious that a woman has passed her Peak Day. Fertility Matters has the woman chart her observations so that highly fertile observations are placed--literally--at the "peak" of her chart, so that once her observations--again, literally--cross the top of the hill and begin to decline, the couple knows they can begin the countdown to the infertile phase. Otherwise, they begin the countdown too soon, and an unintended pregnancy is more likely. While I believe Fertility Matters is beneficial for couples seeking to postpone pregnancy, (given the way observations are charted) I believe it is MOST beneficial to couples seeking to achieve pregnancy. As I described above, the classes include vital information about natural ways to enhance fertility. Most natural family planning classes assume students are there with the intention to avoid pregnancy, an assumption that does not meet the educational needs of couples who want help to become pregnant. For this reason, I developed separate courses--including unique classes and different books--for couples with different pregnancy intentions and different fertility-interpretation challenges, and therefore, different educational needs. In addition to class goals and methods focused on the needs of couples who want to become pregnant, the Fertility Matters charting system itself benefits couples seeking to achieve pregnancy. It helps couples better understand when the woman is at her time of maximum fertility, so that they can time their efforts to achieve pregnancy more effectively. In addition to courses designed for couples seeking to avoid and achieve pregnancy, there are Fertility Matters courses for couples facing the unique challenges of interpreting their fertility in the postpartum time or while breastfeeding; and for couples nearing or passing through premenopause. At this time, live Fertility Matters classes are only available locally, in the Twin Cities / St. Croix Valley area. However, I intend to make them available in the future as online classes. In the meantime, I offer the classes privately, via online technology. If you are interested, feel free to contact me!
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